As usual, I am pensive during this season. Thinking about my life, the lives of people I know, my kids, my wife ... the church. Wondering what another year will hold for us all. Same stuff I think - weddings, funerals, trial, JOY, fun, suffering, brokenness, new ministry, new understanding of GRACE and how CHRIST ALONE is our only hope. I imagine too that the "push" of God on and in us to un-cover our idols and lesser gods - while constantly holding out HIS hope will continue as well. HE IS FAITHFUL!
Some of you disagree with what I'm saying because you've been taught and indoctrinated to believe that Christianity is ALL about your comfort - that finally because of Christ you CAN be at ease (inside) ... that your sins are forgiven, that he died in your place, that he came, that he rose, that he IS. Yes. But do these truths really bring COMFORT or SHOULD they bring about something else in us? Maybe the evil one is the one saying: peace, peace - and comfort, comfort, while your boat drifts out to sea. Maybe.
According to Jesus the truth of the Gospel (which encapsulates ALL that HE has done for us!) brings a sword. It brings a battle, an awareness, new eyes (you think that's easy!? - do we think it's easy to NOW see? - SEEING hurts. Seeing makes you crazy!), a new heart, ... none of these things are comfortable. None of these affords ease. Don't confuse the American quest for utopia with Christianity. Do you think that we are the first nation on the planet to seek a perfect society? Of course not. Eventually, whether we begin with some notion of "god" or not - we EXIT him. We escort him out of society once we've built our towers to the heavens (hint hint - Gen. 11).
Don't ever think that you will gain HEAVEN without a fight. It will cost you everything. Your very life. In summary, the Word, sacrament, and discipline say little about ease & comfort and more about our heart's deep deep need for washing and re-orientation. Re-orientation is not a word I like or care to delve into frankly. Sounds painful and intrusive ... yep. Welcome to CHURCH. See you Sunday.
If you don't like any of what I said here - chew on the following from Thomas Watson. WOW. Good stuff.
Chew on THIS as part of the series from the Book of the Revelation! It will encourage and re-charge you. Promise!
It's not really October yet - it's only Sept. 27th. But I LOVE October!!
Well, the cat is out of the bag now. I have ONE month to finish training for the NYC Marathon! I am running pretty much every day and on this Friday, I hit a good 12-miler and am averaging about 35 miles a week. The race is on Nov. 1st. Thanks for y'all's prayers as I prep for this. It's hard to find time to do the longer runs that I should be doing each week.
We have a lot coming up, folks - Operation Christmas Child launch, Youth Night on Friday, Bibles studies, small groups, Josh Lee in town, ... I am spinning with excitement, this is the BEST time of year.
I love all of you!! Rest in HIS great love for you.
Here's a great entry from Sam Storms. Great theologian, writer, preacher, etc. Here's a link to his website too: ENJOYING GOD
The timing of this meditation is significant. I’m writing it on the day before Thanksgiving, 2006.
No, I can’t explain global hunger. Neither can you. But that is not my primary concern here, as important as that issue is in itself (and it is critically important). Rather, I was stirred to write this meditation upon reading the words of our Lord in Revelation 2:11. There he makes yet another stunning promise: “The one who conquers will not be hurt by the second death”!
Clearly, then, the “second death” is the lake of fire, the place of eternal torment for those who do not know and love our Lord Jesus Christ. The “first death” would be physical death, the death that Jesus said some in Smyrna would suffer because of their faith in him. The point of his promise, then, is this: no matter how much you may endure physically in the present, you will never suffer spiritually in the future. Therefore, be faithful if you should be called on to die now, for you will never die then!
Now, here me well. There is nothing of which I am more deserving than the second death! There is nothing more fitting, more just, more righteous than that I should suffer forever in the lake of fire. And the only reason why I won’t is that Jesus has endured in himself the judgment it entails. Jesus has exhausted in his own person the wrath of God that I otherwise would have faced in the lake of fire.
I suppose some might still seek to undermine the force of Revelation 2:11 by simply denying that the “second death” is equivalent to the “lake of fire”. Many today are doing precisely that, as they cleverly and subversively deny that Jesus ever believed in or taught, much less endured in his own person, the reality of hell’s torments. What “gospel,” then, can they preach? In what does the “good news” consist if not that Jesus has died, the just for the unjust, having “redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us” (Galatians 3:13)?
Yes, thinking about hell and the “second death” has immense practical benefits! In his famous Resolutions, Jonathan Edwards put it succinctly: “Resolved, when I feel pain, to think of the pains of martyrdom, and of hell” (no. 10).
The one who conquers, said Jesus, “will not be hurt by the second death.” Not even when Satan viciously accuses me of sins we all know I’ve committed? No, never, by no means ever will I be hurt by the second death. Not even when others remind me of how sinful I still am, falling short of the very standards I loudly preach and proclaim? No, never, by no means ever will I be hurt by the second death. Not even when my own soul screams in contempt at the depravity of my heart? No, never, by no means ever will I be hurt by the second death.
So, be faithful, Christian man or woman. Rejoice, oh child of God. And give thanks this Thanksgiving that you will never, by no means ever, suffer harm from the “second death”!
February 2009
I am thought-provoked by the INTERNET Monk's article below that I am pasting in. It's a good one. What do you think?
August 4th, 2006 by iMonk
Ann Out Of Place
This afternoon I listened to Ann Coulter being interviewed on TBN. Not CNN. TBN. The Paul Crouch/Jan Crouch fashion show and soap opera that you can’t look away from. Yes, that TBN. The one with Creflo, Joel, General Joyce, Kenneth and Gloria, Kim, Matt and hundreds of very, very uncool people with shocking attractions to hair-styles from other planets.
There sat Ann Coulter, blonde babe darling of the hardcore far right, loathed and hated enemy of all things liberal, author of the new hit Godless, a book I haven’t read, but whose reviews tell me is an assault on the left as the “anti-God” side in American politics. There sat Ann on the same couch as hundreds of Pentecostal preachers and well-dress Apostles to America’s women, talking to Paul Crouch, Jr.
There has been a bit of a blogosphere dust-up regarding exactly what Ann’s religious commitments might be. Based on my limited knowledge, it appears to me that Ann is either a cradle Christian occasionally returning to church or one who is in what some evangelicals might call modest “seeker” mode, though she certainly seems sold on some aspects of historic, orthodox Christianity. She’s read more than a few things, articulates the content very well, but when she gets to the experiential side, she seems, shall we say, somewhat less than convincing.
Her appearance on TBN was obviously calculated to sell her book to the evangelical community, for I suspect that TBN isn’t a regular feature on Ann’s video ipod, though I could hope her choice of attire gains some influence over the current mix of The Bird Cage meets General Joyce’s $50 million dollar clothes budget.
Ann spoke contemptuously of liberals during her little interview. She said, with all sincerity, that part of her prayers were prayers for liberals and thanking God that she wasn’t one. An uncomfortable Paul Crouch, Jr. seemed to immediately recall that somewhere it says that “I thank you, Father, that I am not a liberal,” isn’t a good prayer. “We’re all just sinners saved by grace,” he said. Whatever. Eye roll.
What is Ann doing on Christian television? Is she there as an example of TBN’s Charismatic style of Christianity? Is she giving her testimony? ***ahem** Or is she there as an example, a voice, to evangelicals of what it’s now all about: the culture war against those hated liberals?
The War All Around You
Everywhere one looks, evangelicals are becoming the religion of the culture war. Liberals vs evangelicals almost defines America these days, and evangelicals don’t mind at all. The more intense it gets, the more we seem to know our place.
Increasingly, major evangelical ministries are becoming more interested in the culture war than any other topic. Take Baptist Press, the former press outlet for the Southern Baptist Convention. These days, fully half of the articles and columns coming from Baptist Press are culture war related, particularly dealing with abortion, homosexuality, feminism, stem cell research, support of the War in Iraq, displays of the Ten Commandments and politics in general. The SBC itself is, on some days, fortunate to get 1 or 2 articles on its own press service.
The SBC mounted a thinly veiled GOP-friendly voter registration movement in this past Presidential election., calling it “I Vote Values.” The SBC’s leading theologians are becoming secondary voices for the Republican party, with radio programs and press releases echoing the daily talking points from the RNC. SBC churches are more politicized than ever, and vigorous defenses of a political, culture war interpretation of discipleship are common. Younger culture war pastors, invigorated by the examples of SBCers like Jerry Falwell, Christian America historians like David Barton, and political preachers like D. James Kennedy, are making increasingly brash statements in the pulpit about what views on the culture war are compatible with being part of SBC churches.
The recent national story of Minneapolis pastor Greg Boyd losing over a thousand members in response to his stand against typical conservative culture war issues- such as the display of the American flag during a Christian worship service- points out how strongly many evangelicals feel about the culture war. They see the culture war mission as the critical component of living as a Christian in America. While no one denies that issues of life and sexuality are part of any Christian’s commitment to truth and compassion, the identification of these culture war issues with the myth of a Christian American is disturbing. Where is the Gospel?
I believe the upcoming Presidential election cycle will bring about an unprecedented amount of Christian culture war rhetoric. The likely candidacy of Hillary Clinton will energize many American evangelicals as never before. Christians will be subjected to endless reminders that the “Salvation” depends on the defeat of Clinton. Clinton’s likely appeal to her own faith and to younger, anti-Bush, anti-war evangelicals will make the rhetoric among evangelicals even greater.
Of course, it would be hard to beat what one can hear right now from a Rod Parsley or Richard Roberts. A recent Roberts’ message that I overheard openly stated that the Bush re-election was God’s victory over Satan, and that it was the church that elected Bush. Such rhetoric is wrong and spiritually dangerous, but it also indicates a level of evangelical failure that is seldom discussed.
I recently read that Dr. John Piper said he was concerned about the effects of N.T. Wright’s views on justification on the “souls” of people. I wonder if evangelical leaders have contemplated what the effects on the “soul” could be with a political message and a culture war Gospel being sold by trusted leaders to a church often devoid of a Biblical mission.
Perhaps the evangelical lust for success in the culture war tells us more than we see it at first; perhaps it tells us about a more profound and troubling failure.
The Failure of Spiritual Formation
The most basic aspect of any religion is the ability to pass on its DNA to converts and the next generation. That DNA contains the essential beliefs, texts, stories, theology and articulation of the religion, but it also contains the “shape” or “form” of how that religion is lived out in the world in the lives of its believers.
For example, Islamic beliefs are easily summarized by any high schooler with Wikipedia, but what about living the Islamic life? There are already major divisions in the religion regarding religious practice, but fitting Islam into the modern, globalized and secularized world is the greatest challenge of all. Resurgent Islamicism is, in large part, a struggle to change the world to fit Islam because of the threat that Islam will be diluted and changed by the world.
Evangelical Christians face a similar challenge. The DNA of our religion can be passed on in books and other forms of written communication, but how do we live the life of a Christian? This is the question of “Spiritual formation,” a much talked about subject among practical and experiential theologians and practitioners. How do we “form” our children into disciples? How do we bring them to the place of choosing Christian identities? How can we influence them toward the forms of Christian life, practice and worship that bring authentic Christianity into this generation, and prepare to move it on into the next?
Spiritual formation has, traditionally, been the work of the Christian family and of the church, particularly its teaching and pastoral ministries. Most evangelicals are aware of aspects of spiritual formation, even if they have never heard the word. Quiet Time. Personal Worship. Accountability. Discipleship groups. Mission trips. Choosing a Church. Knowing God’s Will. Prayer Life. Scripture memory. Personal retreats. Revival. Evangelism training. Rededication. These are some of the ways that evangelicals have talked about and attempted to carry out the important work of spiritual formation.
American evangelicals can point to hundreds of publications and programs aimed at some kind of spiritual formation result. The fact is that any honest, but generous judgement would say that after a century of moderate success, the twentieth century and beyond have witnessed an unparalleled failure of evangelicals in the area of spiritual formation. In other words, evangelicals are increasingly spiritually empty, and they are susceptible to a message that the world needs to be changed rather than themselves.
Both families and churches struggle in turning out disciples. American churches specialize in an consumerized, gnostic, experiential Gospel that is increasingly inseparable form the culture in which that church exists. American evangelicals have become as much like the dominant culture as it is possible to be and still exist at all. In fact, evangelicals continue to exist, in large measure, because they have mainstreamed the culture into their religion so that one’s Christianity hardly appears on the radar screen of life as any in any way different from the lives of other people. We are now about values, more than about Christ and the Gospel.
Evangelicals should come to terms with this: they are in every way virtually identical to suburban, white, upper middle class American culture. They are not as bad as the worst of that culture, but they are increasingly like the mainstream of that culture and are blown about by every wind of that consumerized and materially addicted culture. In fact, go to many evangelical churches and the culture is so present, so affirmed, preached and taught that one would assume that there is nothing whatsoever counter cultural about the affirmation that Jesus is Lord.
This saturation of the church by culture is particularly observable among young people. Compare an evangelical youth group to a group of Muslims or Amish. Which of these groups is most identical to the culture in which it exists?
American Christian youth agonize over the overt symbols of cultural conformity. Every youth minister knows these questions. They are not questions of following Jesus; they are questions of the extent to which I can identify with the culture and still, somehow, someway, define myself as a Christian.
Listen to the blogosphere conversation on the subject of separation from “movies,” for example. Rather than admit that groups like the Amish are actually living out with integrity their vision of discipleship and culture, evangelicals dwell at the edge of culture, with some voices inviting them “in” to be missional, while other voices are lecturing them to abstain and opt “out,” in the name of being a “good witness.”
This situation doesn’t happen because evangelicals know how to spiritually form disciples. It happens because we are largely unable to decide what it means to be spiritually formed or even how to get there. So we get blog posts on movies, exposed stomachs and preachers that say “crap.” The obvious answer- to form church communities that make clear choices in the area of spiritual disciplines and influences- seems completely unimaginable to most evangelicals. In the meantime, let’s get out the vote.
Spiritual formation is no longer interesting to most evangelical churches. Pentecostals want experience and megachurches want activity and support. The point at the end of it all is the expansion of the churches themselves and the ability of individual Christians to live in support of the church as the proper end of the earthly Christian life. The missional goal of most evangelical churches in America is the further growth of the church.
Eugene Peterson has written for years on the loss of the pastor as one who directs the spiritual formation of Christians through the Word, prayer, community and the sacraments. He has lamented the ascendancy of a “pastoral” model that is, in reality, a church growth technician, not a spiritual leader. Peterson has been a true prophet, and we can only hope that younger evangelicals are going to reread and finally hear his warnings now that they have all come true. (One truly trembles at the prospect of many younger pastors actually having to explain scripture, conduct a funeral or counsel someone on an issue of spiritual importance. Rabbi Feinberg, check your messages.)
My Conclusion
I am suggesting, therefore, that the increasing interest in the culture war among evangelicals is not an example of a reinvigorated evangelicalism remaking its culture. Instead, I believe the intense focus by evangelicals on political and cultural issues is evidence of a spiritually empty and unformed evangelicalism being led by short-sighted leaders toward a mistaken version of the Kingdom of God on earth.
The Culture War makes sense to Christians who have little or no idea how to be Christians in this culture except to oppose liberals and fight for a conservative political and social agenda- an agenda often less than completely examined in the light of scripture, reason, tradition and experience. Those evangelicals- like Greg Boyd- who have challenged or broken the identification with the political right can testify to how they are immediately viewed. Dissenting evangelicals are labeled as pro-abortion, pro-gay marriage and pro- Democrat instantly. The rhetoric of the culture warriors is relentless in associating dissenting evangelicals of every kind with the issues of abortion and homosexuality. No one could be blamed for believing that evangelicalism was a modestly spiritual movement with the goal of banning abortion and gay marriage. (I predict the comment thread of this essay will demonstrate exactly what I am saying.)
In this scenario, there are a number of bizarre takes. The SBC’s most well known theologian doesn’t write books of theology. He hosts a daily talk radio program on cultural war issues. Rod Parsley may preach about miracles, but he uses his influence to elect candidates and promote political causes. Politicians elected by evangelicals get re-elected by appealing to the hot button culture war issues, but their positions on issues like gambling or Aid to Africa are unpredictable and often unknown. The Left Behind movies become video games where the godless are shot by Christians defending themselves. And of course, Ann Coulter appears on TBN, promoting her take on why evangelicals ought to care about the influence of real “godless” liberals.
Where is the Gospel? Where is the missional calling of the Christian? Where is the church’s ministry of spiritual formation? Where are ministries of Word and Sacrament? All of these are increasingly buried under doublespeak and culture war rhetoric. Evangelicalism is being betrayed by many of its leaders who are building their “ministries” by the appeal to anything but the Gospel and compassion of Jesus.
The culture war agenda increasingly makes sense to evangelicals who are spiritually unformed, distracted and misled. I cannot approve of Greg Boyd’s theology of God’s knowledge, but I can say that his stand against the encroachments of the culture warriors- encroachments that come from outside the church and seek to dictate the work of the ministry itself- is commendable.
Why is Ann Coulter on TBN? Because we understand her and her war against liberals. Would TBN have the same audience for Don Carson? John Piper? Tim Keller? Especially if they talked about the Gospel?
January 2009
WOW. A NEW year. Here's all I've got.... CLING to CHRIST. He's your/my only hope. Do I sound like a broken record? Yep. That's all I've got as a pastor. I have nothing else for you. HE IS ALL THERE IS. For 2009 - there's Christ! For the year 2567 - there's Christ! He's all WE have for each new year until he returns to judge the living and the dead.
But here's the rub, even when we fail to CLING - he has CLUTCHED us! ... holds us, clings to his church, the Bride - and loves us. SO - this year, cling to HIM as he clings to you ... knowing that when you let go - he never will. Now that's a Happy New Year.
December 2008
I know that I have NOT blogged much lately. I think it's because a lot of what I would be saying here - I have been saying on Sundays! Plenty of time.
Here's an ADVENT poem - by John Piper (1982). Piper is a pastor, author, poet (apparently)...he writes a poem for each Sunday of Advent (every year!). Don't expect anything like that out of me. No way!
CHRISTMAS CANDLE, John Piper 1982
The sun had just begun to set
And Joseph's face, filled with regret
Appeared again. "We'll find a place,"
Said Mary, full of hope and grace.
"I know we will," she touched his chin
And bravely smiled, "Who needs an inn?
The sky is clear, the blankets thick
And warm; there's still good light to pick
A place among the rocks we passed.
God's first and best is often last."
More times than he preferred to think
Poor Joseph's faith would start to sink
And darkness gather like a foe
'Til Mary's hopeful heart would glow.
It wasn't that he feared the night,
Nor prowling beasts nor thieves to fight.
In fact, it wasn't fear at all
That made the tears begin to fall.
"It's all right, Joseph, I don't mind.
I'm sure it won't be hard to find."
"My God, you're pregnant, woman, look!
What kind of husband ever took
His wife to sleep among the rocks?
I'm not a shepherd with some flocks;
I am a man and you're my wife
With child." She hugged him to the Life
Within her womb and said no more.
Wise woman, she had learned before:
Sometimes you leave a man alone
To bear his load of love, and groan.
She'd kept it to herself all day
And every time they came she'd pray
"Not yet, O God, not on the road;
Your handmaid bears as big a load
As she can take. O Lord, please wait;
Please let the child, your child, come late."
She never burdened Joseph down,
Not even when they got to town,
Not even at the setting sun,
But only when the search was done.
He helped her down among the cocks
And hens. She smiled, "It sure beats rocks,
Especially for a night-time birth."
"I'm in no mood for silly mirth."
"Nor I." "How long have you known this?"
"No anger now, my love, let's kiss
The hour and kiss the ways of God.
Remember that his staff and rod
Are comfort, father David said."
She winced and quickly shaped her bed.
"I helped to make your day's load light;
Please, Joseph, carry me tonight."
"I'll get a midwife from the place..."
"Don't leave me here without your face.
My mother showed me what to do
And what I need right now is you."
Between the pains she tried to lie
In peace and stare into the sky,
And think of how she'd been prepared.
And then she said, "Joseph, I'm scared."
And he with steady eye and calm
Recalled for her the angel's psalm.
"He is the shoot of Jesse's rod;
He shall be called the Son of God;
His Kingdom shall not ever end.
Will not God then his birth attend?"
But Mary's face remained so grim:
"The promises are sure for him.
You know I never doubt God's word,
But, Joseph, I have never heard
A promise for myself but this:
‘Some sword my own soul will not miss.'"
Again his eyes were steady, bright
Reflecting heaven's grace and light.
"Our book is full of promises;
Remember that one where it says,
No good thing does the Lord withhold
From those whose cares on him are rolled.
And: when your worries multiply
God's consolation hovers nigh.
And: steadfast love surrounds the girl
For whom Jehovah is her pearl.
And: God's a stronghold for the weak,
How happy those who his help seek."
Each time the birthing pangs withdrew
He gave her joyful words and true.
He carried Mary with the Word
And she delivered what she heard:
God's Yes to every ancient oath.
And now with lifted hands they both
Were filled with distant prophecy:
"To God alone all praises be,
And let the world a candle light
To celebrate this awesome night."
NOVEMBER 2008
Nov. 26th: DAY before Thanksgiving! Happy Thanksgiving to you all. The year has really flown by. Once we hit T-day, it's over, or at least it feels that way. I love this time of year...for reflection, for LIGHT, for pondering the past year and the coming year. I love it.
However, I wish to encourage all of us to SLOW DOWN ... even though everything around us says - SPEED UP! When the church, culture, and LIFE are all saying go faster - do the opposite and you will FIND that people will plop into your life asking you - WHO ARE YOU?! I think I want to make a pact to buy only ONE gift for each of those that the LORD has put in my life to gift this year. ONE gift each means that I have to choose wisely. What do you think? Can I do it? Is it possible? Financially - it IS indeed possible to buy ONLY ONE thing ... especially in these days of fiscal fear. This exercise pushes me to THINK harder and longer for those whom I love and cherish.
I am reading a new book that I love - called: The Circle of Seasons, Meeting God in the Church Year. Brand new. Check it out. Here is a link (below) ... if you're into that sort of thing. Good stuff. You'll be seeing it impact our worship at RPC.
CHURCH SEASONS book (click).
Nov. 8th:
Ok, I know I am copying in a lot of stuff lately, but there's great and thought-provoking things to read and wrestle with OUT THERE. See below a long but super essay/blog from the Internet Monk, Michael Spencer. It will challenge you. Remember how that feels? We might even "get the bug" and fall in love again - with Christ. Who knows?!
Hey, and while I'm at it .... I want to say something ... we all need to get with it. We (including me) need to dig deeper. We are Americans with every book, internet site, thinker's thoughts at our mouse click, and we know very little about God, Jesus, salvation, doctrine, life-changing truths, WE DON'T think beyond the day's activities ... we are at information overload and so we do nothing and we end up knowing nothing of real truth and HOPE which eventually seeps into our lives and trickles down to our children...and their children.
I met a 75-year old woman today who went on and on about how she loves animals and pets and everyone should love animals (which I do!) and that I should preach to my congregation to be vegeterians and love animals, etc. I listened for a bit, and then said - thanks for that, but some people in this country will strap themselves to a freight train and risk their lives for an animal, and give money - but we kill millions of babies without even a thought - because it's our CHOICE to have sex with someone and then KILL what is conceived. Don't give me all the cop out arguments about rape and incest (I know it happens!) ... outside of those cases - we KILL our babies. And even WITH those cases, God actually CAN prevail. We've taken our CHOICE so far - that now, we don't have a choice. Ok. Oh, and there are non-Christians who agree that abortion is just plain wrong (talk about your prop 8 "civil rights"! - what about the rights of those who aren't born yet?!!), so it's not JUST a Christian soapbox! And who ever said that Christians weren't allowed to have soapboxes anyway?? How did I get on abortion? It's just what came out.
SO, the woman chuckled and said - "Oh, abortion," like it was such old news and that she wasn't surprised that I was talking about it as a pastor (she had asked what I did for a living at some point, too bad) ... anyway, she paused and said - YES, but we must love animals too because God loves them. I said - yes he does, and he also loves HUMAN BEINGS! Blind. We're all crazy and blind. Me too.
This 75-year old woman (who confessed that she was never able to have children - IRONIC!) went on to say that she had not been to church in 10 years because of ... and it was at that point that I think I blacked out. Listening to people's reasons for not going to church is what pastors do ... which of course is changing too, because no one feels as though they have to answer to or tell a pastor WHY they do or don't do anything these days in this post-Christian culture we live in in America ... we are all individuals who can run our own lives. Church is 10th on the list anyway. I am first. Family first or second. Which of course, we are blind to see that as we put family and ourselves FIRST, we are destroying our families AND our true selves... because we have put God 10th. I'll let you fill in the blanks from here.
Read the following essay by Michael Spencer, it's long, but do the work and you will be challenged to think and wrestle with your faith. Oh, by the way, I'm not angry ... I'm passionate. ;-) Also, I am not worried in the least... why? Because the GOD of the universe is ON his throne. Has been, IS, and will BE. Relax.
www.internetmonk.com
www.monergism.com {a website that has great stuff on it, sermons, essays, blogs, articles, etc.}
Wretched Urgency
The Grace of God or Hamsters on a Wheel?
by Michael Spencer
My friend and prayer partner just looked across the lunch table and said I didn't look good. In fact, he said I hadn't looked happy all week.
He's right. I am troubled. I want to preach and I can't for almost two more weeks. The war is occupying my time and my mind. I've had some discipline problems with my students, who are tired of being in school and caught up in the spring that has finally chased winter from their minds. I'm thinking about where to find college money for my daughter and how to buy her a car and why I can't stop gaining weight. Don't ask me how I am. I might tell you.
OK. Don't bail out. I'm not usually a whiner about life. Since you, my reading public, really want to know, I'll tell you what is bumming me out: I harbor unspeakable thoughts about my Christianity. Things you can't say in most churches. Things that are disturbing to many evangelicals, especially my particular kind of Fundamentalistic Southern Baptist Arminan revivalists. Dare I say these things? It's too late!
Well, if I do, someone is going to say I am just a narrow, anti-evangelism, anti-missionary, five point "aggressive" Calvinist. And you already know how I feel about that. Someone else will say, like Job's friends, that I'm living in sin and making excuses for myself. Others will mail me a book or tape that will make it all better. I will run the gauntlet if I start typing.
None of this intimidation will work on me. I've been thinking these things for years, and they aren't shadows. What I am going to to say is real, and I am going to bet that once I let the cat out of the bag, a lot of readers will write me and say they thought it too, but were afraid to say anything because they didn't want to get in trouble or get preached at. So here we go.
I don't think Christianity is about converting people.
The Background Paper
It might help to get a feel for where I came from. The Southern Baptist Church that evangelized and discipled me was very typical of America's largest non-Catholic denomination in the sixties and seventies. We were the very definition of all things Southern (with some midwesterness thrown in) and all things conservative, independent, rural and Baptist. It was a big church in a modest city, but it was full of essentially country people. The prevailing wind was Revivalistic Arminianism of the kind represented by Billy Graham and any number of evangelists below him on the sophistication scale. When big-haired Texas evangelists came to down, they were right at home.
Now, essential to this church was the belief that everyone was lost except the Christians in Southern Baptist Churches who were saved on a date they could remember and sure of their salvation if repeatedly asked "Are you sure? Are you certain? Are you sure you're certain?". Roman Catholics and most other Protestants were lost automatically, just for showing up.. A few sincere strays might get in- like maybe the occasional Church of Christ guy- but infant baptizers and non-Baptists in general were "religious organizations" and not Christians. I kid you not. This was a major emphasis at our church. There were even serious discussions about whether independent Baptists were saved, since they didn't participate in the Southern Baptist Cooperative missions program. (Not a joke. Entirely true.)
Now this environment created a definition of the Christian life that was oriented to one thing: converting people. Oddly though, the word "evangelism" was never actually spoken. The word was "witness." Christians were "witnesses." We were supposed to "witness" to everybody and at every opportunity. This kind of "witness" was entirely verbal and best done in hostile territory. We had Thursday night "visitation" and Saturday morning "visitation" all for the purpose of "witnessing." We took classes in how to "witness," classes that bore an amazing similarity to seminars on how to sell vacuum cleaners and encyclopedias. ("Mrs. Jones, after seeing the amazing usefulness of Jesus, can you think of any reason you shouldn't buy him right now?") Stories of successful "witnessing" episodes were the stock in trade of every preacher I heard growing up. Every sermon set out to bring a person to faith in Christ at the altar, and then, to a militant commitment to be a "witness," or as it was often put, a "soul winner."
You can't feel bad enough.
"Witnessing" was the single and sharp focus of the Christian life in my church, and we were suspicious of those liberals who didn't see the constant urgency of aggressive witnessing to the lost. We weren't quite out on street corners preaching at the by-standers, but we would have admired that sort of fellow, and we would have probably been told we should aspire to such boldness. The maniac preacher-guy who railed at college girls and boys, calling them whores and hell-bound for make-up, movies and smoking, would have gotten a big love offering at my church. In all of this, it was a short walk to feeling badly about my own sorry and pitiful Christianity. I didn't fit the mold.
Feeling badly about things was a key part of the Christian life in my church. We called it being "burdened for the lost." The ideal Christian lived in hours of weeping daily prayer, interceding and travailing for the lost. (Weeping was very important.) If we prayed adequately, the lost would be saved and revival would come. Every week. Our lack of prayer was always to blame for everything, as was our lack of support for door knocking and confrontational witnessing of every kind. If you weren't willing to learn the "techniques" of soul winning, you were an example of Christians who didn't love God or are if people went to hell. In other words, you were like me.
I will not take you down memory lane to appreciate what I did to myself and to others to try and become that kind of big game hunting Christian. I took classes that equipped me with outlines and questions. I wore buttons to start conversations. I left tracts. I visited friends and tried to steer the conversation towards "spiritual things." I walked aisles and promised, again and again, to become a good Christian witness. All the while I felt horribly guilty, and knew that my preacher was right when he said that on the day of judgment, the blood of my unsaved friends would be on my hands. That verse haunted me for years, and I am not yet out from under its shadow.
Let me give you an example of this atmosphere. My youth and music minister, Bill, was a huge influence on my life. As a growing young Christian, we spent hours together. I owe him a great deal of gratitude as a mentor during some tough times in my family. He took an interest in seeing me discover and use my gifts and talents in the service of the Kingdom. One day I brought a book to Bill; a book I was excited about reading because it was taking me into a subject I'd never heard about at our church. The book was J. I. Packer's Knowing God. This remarkable book of theology was way over my head as a teenager, but the premise was revolutionary to me: the basic fact of my life was living to know my creator. It was my relationship with God that was my basic identity. God was the center of the Christian experience, and salvation was an unfolding of the greatness of the Lord. All this stood in contrast to the version of the Christian life that was all around me.
Bill wasn't excited about Knowing God. In fact, he seemed threatened and angry that I was reading such a book and excited about it. "Your purpose isn't to know God. Your purpose is to win souls. That's what you are here on earth to do- be a witness and win others to Christ." That was his response. I can hear it like it was yesterday, and I still feel the feelings of contradiction that oozed over me.
This was the air we breathed. The Christian life was a life of urgent rescue, and not a life of wasting time on whatever "Knowing God" was all about. We were all on constant 911 calls. The rapture could come any time, and every Christian was given this day for no other reason than to win souls. If you were not on witnessing patrol or on your knees preparing or following up a witnessing call, you were a useless and bad Christian.
(Let me say that probably more than a few of you will read this, and have read other things I have written, and are now saying, "Michael, you are really screwed up. Get some professional help." I agree with you, and given the choice of therapy, Fundamentalists Anonymous, or writing these essays, I've picked the cheaper and less traumatic of the three options. But you are right. It messed me up and I am not over it yet, not by a long shot. I'm not alone either, am I?)
The Need For Speed
And thus was born my lifelong struggle with what I will call the impulse of wretched urgency in Christianity. It is my goal to help you to see it, and if possible, to convince you in joining me in renouncing it. For starters, let's describe it.
We begin with the premise that the purpose of the Christian life is to persuade others to become Christians. Evangelism. Witnessing. Persuasion. These are the highest callings of the Christian. Why are you here? That others might know Christ. Heaven will be great, but the rewards are for the witnesses who spent their lives- and every bit of their energy- in getting other people to heaven. Nothing will be worse than to know that your friends are in hell because you didn't tell them about Jesus.
The time is short. The rapture approaches. Or if you aren't a rapturist, the need is to reach all the nations- or unreached people groups- as soon as possible. My hero- John Piper- says that no one can be saved without hearing the name of Jesus, so it is urgent we convince people to become missionaries. Everyone should go overseas and witness. Young adults should reconsider "worldly" careers and take the path of "extreme" missions involvement. Martyrdom is a great way to end your life and we ought to admire those who risk it or choose it.
Idleness is a sin. We need to be constantly and increasingly busy about the Lord's work. More and more prayer. Become a prayer warrior and an intercessor. Claim people and pray them into the Kingdom. Ministry must always be the priority of every relationship. Wherever you are, you are accountable for the salvation of those around you.. Confrontation is no big thing. You do it if you love people. Constant communication of the Gospel is your true work. These are the hallmarks of a real Christian. He/she is busy witnessing. The church is busy growing and reproducing. Every Christian is involved in ministry- and all the training and preparation necessary for ministry- that takes a substantial amount of their time. (I'm pretty good at this!!)
The house is burning. We must be urgent and never lag in our mission. We are truly yelling "Fire!" in a crowded theater, and dragging people out the one door of escape. We may appear foolish or even cultish, but it doesn't matter. Growth. Numbers. Progress. Stories. Growing influence. Increasing territory. More boldness. More conversions. Larger churches. More events and groups and ministries and so on and so on.
Imagine a fellow starts a breakfast meeting with a few Christian friends. They drink coffee, joke and enjoy doing little or nothing. One thing is for certain. At some point, someone is going to say that the group is wasting their time. Right? Why aren't they praying? Why aren't they witnessing? Why aren't they motivating themselves for evangelism or missions? All this talking and joking and discussing issues is just a waste of time. Christian are here to make a difference, and this group isn't solving any problems or making a difference at all.
Recognize that voice? It's in my head and it won't go away.
Is That Really An Alarm in My Head?
Now, of course, all of this come with buckets of scripture. Go into all the world. The love of Christ compels us. You will be my witnesses. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. He who wins souls is wise. Don't let the master return and find you sleeping. You must be ready, for no one knows the hour the master will return.
Paul was urgent. Jesus was busy about his Father's business. The early Christians preached the word wherever they were. The shepherds and the wise men were urgent in spreading the news. People Jesus healed ran up and down the roads telling about Jesus. Look at the man in Mark 5. Jesus casts demons out of him and he spends his whole life evangelizing and witnessing.
Read Christian history. Look at people like St. Patrick. Spurgeon. St. Francis. William Booth. Jim Elliott. Billy Graham. These people were urgent. Intense. Spending their lives in the service of the Lord.
Had enough? I have. My head is starting to hurt.
Let's get the obvious out of the way. Anything worthwhile in life has an element of intensity and urgency in it at some point. Certainly, Christianity is a religion of realism and truth. The truth of the Gospel is an urgent message of pardon to be obeyed now, not later. It is a revolutionary message that is meant to be applied now, not in the by and by. Its truths ought to cause us to evaluate everything in our lives in the light of the "urgency" of the message. I yield this point without objection, and move on.
Further, there are some intense and urgent characters in the Christian story. Jesus is urgent. Paul certainly is in that category many times. Church history contains people who believed it was better to burn out than to rust. Some of those people have characteristics anyone can admire and often the lessons of their lives and teaching are valuable. I won't argue this either, though I will say something about it all later.
What I will say is this: The "wretched urgency" that pervades much of evangelical Christianity isn't Biblical. It's a hoax, and a sick one. In fact, I will go so far as to say it is an outright distortion and perverting of the New Testament into saying something it never says, and ignoring plain truths it lays out for anyone to see.
A Christian may appear to be a fool at times. We are fools for Christ's sake. But Christianity shouldn't make us crazy. It shouldn't break our mental and physical health. It shouldn't fry our relationships and make us salespersons and hucksters. We aren't hamsters on a wheel.
Turn off the alarm. It's a hoax.
Things That Just Aren't There.
This all started for me when I noticed that there was no concern for church growth in any of the letters to the seven churches in Revelation 2-3. Read it. Stop right now and go read it.
OK. Am I telling the truth? It says to hold fast. It encourages purity, fidelity, bravery and love. There are commendations and criticisms. But nothing about church growth. Nothing that says the agenda of Jesus for these churches was militant evangelism. I'm not saying there isn't anything in these letters about evangelism. I am NOT trying to substantiate some kind of hyper-Calvinistic anti-missions philosophy. Far from it. I'm simply saying that in these two very important chapters summarizing the message of Jesus to these seven key churches in Asia Minor, there is no wretched urgency about evangelism and witnessing.
There is urgency about holiness, truth, and responsiveness to Christ. There is urgency about the Gospel IN the church, and among those who say they believe it. There is commendation for faithfulness in living it out. There just isn't anything about church growth or aggressive personal evangelism. If you find it, you're making it up.
How about the epistles in the New Testament? In those places where Christians are addressed as Christians, where is the urgency about church growth or personal evangelism?
Yes, I know that Paul is urgent about his ministry, but I don't find his instructions for other Christians to be entirely in the same vein. I hear Christians being told to live quiet, peaceful, honest, generous lives adorned with integrity and love. Christians are told to be devoted to their families, to love fellow believers, and to live in such a way that outsiders cannot accuse or criticize. If they suffer for being a Christian, it should not be because they provoked a response through simply living the life Jesus taught.
Again and again, I look in the epistles for the kind of Christian experience that I was taught was normal, and I do not find it. The statements of urgency are not statements telling me to turn my house and life upside down in frenetic efforts to persuade people to join my religion. The urgency in Paul comes from his personal mission and his own vocation as a church planter. I can't automatically apply it all to everyone else.
Shouldn't we all be like Paul? No. Not if we aren't apostles and church planters. Paul ran all over the world telling people to believe the Gospel, love Christ and live like it. We are to go back to our homes, jobs and communities and do exactly that. Preachers and missionaries have the urgency appropriate to their calling, as anyone should have the urgency appropriate in theirs. A parent has some urgency in parenting, but it has to be measured. A businessman or a teacher has some urgency, but again, in an ordered way. Christians look at their callings, their lives, their faith and apply the appropriate amount of urgency. We are not all told to sell all we have, give it to the poor and hit the road. In fact, that could be nuts.
What about urgent door to door evangelism? Ever run the phrase "house to house" in a computer concordance? Here's what you get. The apostles went "door to door" i.e. home to home teaching and encouraging Christians when Christians were meeting in houses. (Acts 5:42; 20:20) Before sending them on a mission, Jesus told his disciples NOT to go house to house, but to find one home and stay there living a life of integrity. (Luke 10:7) And finally, busybodies go house to house stirring up trouble. You should stay home and be quiet. (I Timothy 5:13)
The fact that the New Testament does not command door to door confrontational evangelism completely overturned vast tracts of my own spiritual upbringing. It's like a dark and terrible secret that was kept from me. Door to door Jesus salesmen were presented as the ideal Christians. Initiating attempts at conversion with people who didn't know you was the very best definition of being a "witness."
Listen to Peter's description of evangelistic urgency to his first century audience: "1 Peter 3:15-16 15 but in your hearts regard Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; 16 yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame." Live so people will ask. Don't force feed them the question. Live the life. Live it plainly, but there is no guilt trip put on anyone for not accosting their co-workers once a week.
I cannot find the kind of Christian life I am talking about in the epistle to the Romans. Not anywhere. I have scoured the Corinthian letters and find Paul getting pretty intense about himself, but he's usually telling the Corinthians they are a bunch of immature fanatics who need to take care out their own in-house garbage. As to their neighbors: 1 Corinthians 5:12-13 12 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? 13 God judges those outside. "Purge the evil person from among you." There is similar "urgency" about the lives of believers in 1 Peter 4:17 17 For it is time for judgment to begin at the household of God; and if it begins with us, what will be the outcome for those who do not obey the gospel of God?
The Corinthian letters particularly are important as an example of an extensive pastoral correspondence between a church planter and a group of Christians. If there were an urgency about "winning souls" and "growing churches" it would appear in more than just Paul's defenses of his own motives and ministry. There is an urgency for holiness and obedience, but not about "witnessing." Paul is passionately concerned with what kind of persons the Corinthians are, and seems remarkably unconcerned with their "Christian activities." He has lived around them long enough to say "imitate me as I imitate Christ (I Cor 11:1)," and by that I do not believe he meant "witnessing." He had imbedded himself in their lives long enough to say "Look at who I am and imitate that." This was not a guy barnstorming and whipping up Christians for evangelism. He was saying live the life.
I do not find guilt-inducing, blood on your hands urgency in Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians or Thessalonians, letters that are indicative of diverse pastoral situations and relationships. Each letter is consumed almost entirely with concerns and problems within the church. The "witness" Paul is working to shape is lives submitted to Christ in matters of doctrine and discipleship. He is not organizing confrontive door-knocking expeditions. The interactions between Christians and non-Christians are of this flavor: Philippians 2:15-16 15 that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, 16 holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain. And like the Corinthian letters, the urgency is the Christian mission as lived out by each person where God has placed them: Colossians 4:2-6 Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving. 3 At the same time, pray also for us, that God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ, on account of which I am in prison- 4 that I may make it clear, which is how I ought to speak. 5 Conduct yourselves wisely toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. 6 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.
The Thessalonians, who had caught a bad case of "Left Behind Fever," received this admonition: "1 Thessalonians 4:10-12 But we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more, 11 and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, 12 so that you may live properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one. In fact, it is remarkable how often the advice to the Thessalonians could be paraphrases as "Calm down. Live sensibly and morally. Stand firm. Be the sort of people who have an anchor for the soul in times when anything goes."
Notice how Paul connects a thorough conversion of life with the influence the Thessalonians will have over others. Evangelism as an "activity," seems to never be in mind here. A witness is what sounds forth from a changed and discipled like.
1 Thessalonians 1:4-9 4 For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you, 5 because our gospel came to you not only in word, but also in power and in the Holy Spirit and with full conviction. You know what kind of men we proved to be among you for your sake. 6 And you became imitators of us and of the Lord, for you received the word in much affliction, with the joy of the Holy Spirit, 7 so that you became an example to all the believers in Macedonia and in Achaia. 8 For not only has the word of the Lord sounded forth from you in Macedonia and Achaia, but your faith in God has gone forth everywhere, so that we need not say anything. 9 For they themselves report concerning us the kind of reception we had among you, and how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God,
Here. Quote me. There is no urgent concern for converting people in the New Testament. Did you get that down? There is also no urgent concern for the numerical growth of churches by the efforts of members to convert others. There are no burgeoning church programs. There are no plans to train everyone to door knock and sell Jesus. There is an urgent concern for doctrinal and personal Christ-likeness. There is a concern for leadership, integrity, honesty and obedience to Christ in our personal lives. The idea that we are here to "win souls" and not to know and show God is bogus.
The Gospel Road
What about the Gospels? Isn't the ministry of Jesus full of soul winning urgency?
I think it has to be said that there are two kinds of urgency in the Gospels that have to be accepted. One is the urgency of Jesus in his own mission. Not a mission to convert, but a mission to fulfill all the Father had for him to do, up to and including the cross and resurrection. This urgency needs to be seen against how Jesus lived for thirty years before his ministry. He stayed home and was an obedient son, a carpenter and a productive, honest member of his community. The urgency comes with his call to public ministry.
Scholars debate to what extent Jesus' message was dominated by an eschatological "grip." Some believe Jesus was convinced he was bringing on the end of the world as predicted by John the Baptist. Others, like George Ladd, are convincing that Jesus had an "already, but not yet" idea of the Kingdom, that allowed "urgency," but did not bring the fanaticism of political revolution. This is an important aspect of this discussion, but should be pursued elsewhere. My point would be that Jesus passed on to his disciples a sense of "urgency" that the Kingdom had arrived and was coming "in force," but he did not pass on the "wretched urgency" I am arguing against in this essay.
The second kind of urgency has to do with Jesus' words to his disciples. He called them to leave their nets and come follow him. He called on others to make similar immediate and total changes of life in order to follow him. Some of Jesus' interactions with perspective disciples majored on drastic response, and he sometimes stressed not taking time to be overly concerned with ordinary matters. I also admit this kind of urgency is in the Gospels, but I disagree that it dominates the teaching of Jesus or defines the character of the Christian life in the way I was brought up. It is, precisely, the interaction between Jesus and his actual disciples in that situation and context. In that sense, it harmonizes with the first kind of urgency in the mission of Jesus.
If the Gospels are read with an interest to what they are saying to the "regular" Christian who heard them later, it is clear that the announcement of the Good News was "urgent," but Jesus never instructed the ordinary Christian to convert people out of an urgent, "soul winning" mentality. The ordinary Christian was to believe the message, and consistently live a life increasingly shaped by the message and the Spirit. For instance, how should any Christian apply the lesson of the Gaderene Demoniac?
"Mark 5:18-20 18 As he was getting into the boat, the man who had been possessed with demons begged him that he might be with him. 19 And he did not permit him but said to him, "Go home to your friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you." 20 And he went away and began to proclaim in the Decapolis how much Jesus had done for him, and everyone marveled.
Now this makes a fine sermon illustration for buttonholing and door-knocking, but that is a misuse and certainly is reading into the text. The power of the Gospel has done for all of us what Jesus did for this man. We are set free from the power of evil. We are in our right minds. Our response should be to want to follow Jesus. But Jesus commands that we go home to our friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for us. Even though the text seems to indicate the man became a preacher of sorts, it is because of his notoriety and gratitude, not out of guilt induced urgency. The command from the Lord was to go home and tell his friends, and that is what I believe the Gospel sends us to do, in whatever calling we have in life.
Am I Really, Really Wrong?
Am I wrong when I see Jesus healing, helping preaching and teaching, but sending most people back to their lives and families to live out their discipleship? Am I wrong that "urgency" in the teaching of Jesus isn't of a kind that turns people into street corner preachers as much as it turns us into people who are salt of the earth and lights in the world wherever we happen to be? Am I wrong to sense that the focus on conversions, church growth and confrontation is not present in the New Testament, and a renewed focus on ordinary Christians living extraordinarily Christ-formed lives is needed everywhere? Am I wrong that "gowing" churches and their leaders are getting way too much attention, and the regular guy and gal trying to live it out at home and at work are not getting near enough attention?
I keep trying to see how this works out in two areas. One, what kind of person is a Christian? What should I be like? How should I feel? I cannot read the New Testament and conclude I should be full of the mindset and emotions of a person set on the street to make his living going door to door selling an unwanted product. I do not see a person overrun with guilt, but overjoyed in grace. I do not see the heaviness of a burden for the lost, but the joy of the saved visible and alive in the heart of the Christian. Hell, for all its reality, is not the reality that fills and motivates the Christian.
I think about this when I think of the many, many preachers who have passed through churches I've attended, and have hammered a guilt-dominated, wretchedly urgent, downright mean message of "you have to save the world" into the minds of passive Christians. It's ugly, and I have come to despise it. It's not the Christian life, and it doesn't have the fruit of the Spirit anywhere.
The other area is what should my life be like for those around me? My family, co-workers and friends. What should they see and experience? This is a big area for me because I am a campus minister and I am charged with a certain kind of urgency in my own ministry setting. I accept that, and I always have. I don't always like it, but even then, it is a joy to preach the Gospel. I glory and exalt in the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ and I revel in His Good News for my students. But I do not believe I am to be "wretchedly urgent" in a way that produces an obnoxious ministry, or a guilt-filled, terrorizing approach to students. Isn't wearing this kind of urgency on my sleeve simply another kind of manipulation?
I am about to send my daughter off to college. What kind of a Christian do I want her to be, especially if her friends or roommate is not a Christian? Well, prepare to be shocked. I do not want her to be obsessed or distressed for their conversions. I do not want her plotting to confront them with the Gospel. I want her to BE a Christian, and live like one in the depths of her conscience and the details of her life. I want her to be a public Christian, associated with a church. I want her to be loving, honest, dependable, sober, humble and loyal. I want her to be mentally and spiritually equipped to live the life and speak the truths. I want her to be devoted to the Bible as the authority of her faith.
But I do not want her leaving tracts for her roommate. I do not want her miserable that her roommate's salvation depends on her. I do not want her "burdened" and guilty. I do not want her friends talking about her in tones of dread when she is walking toward them, knowing she has to work out this guilt in efforts to convert them. I want her to be a person in whom they see a reality beyond religion, and a passion beyond the need to convert.
Frankly, I don't care if she ever tells them they need to be Christians. If God brings about the opportunity, then that is wonderful and I want her to have the word of faith ready to share. But mostly, I hope she shows them everyday they need Christ, and that her life prompts many discussions, questions and inquiries without necessitating plots and plans to force feed the Gospel to the disinterested.
It seems ridiculous sometimes to think that all our efforts at desperate and urgent conversions have not done the good that holy and beautiful lives, lived out in ordinary ways, could have done. God will always call people to cross barriers and go to the unreached and to start new churches. We need those whose lights burn brighter for a while in a particular cause. But I think about Martin Luther King, Jr. Changing the world, and committing adultery at the same time. I think of how many preachers and missionaries and people involved in evangelistic ministry burn out and burn up. I have always listened to the testimony of men like James Robison with great interest. While he was burning up the world with evangelistic zeal, he was dying inside. Now I see in him a holy urgency born of great grace. Tears and a burden, but not a miserable burden that defines his life more than the great laughter of the pardoning God. In Billy Graham I see the urgency, but I can also see that this does not define him. A humble and quiet rest in who God is and what God does.
If I'm wrong, write and tell me. If I'm right, and speaking to your own experience, tell me that, too. I want to know if I am alone in my error, or if I am right and speaking the truth, as strange as it may sound.
In the meantime, I will be accused of being a Calvinist, and that is fine, because only a vision of God saves any of us from despair. I will be accused of being anti-missions and anti-evangelism, but my life and priorities should refute that. What I want to be accused of is being a person without wretched, driving, guilt-producing urgency. I want all my urgency to be born of grace and mercy, and lived out in everything I do before the eyes of the Lord. Jesus should make me better than I am, and for that, I am urgent. I close with a passage that puts it perfectly:
1 Corinthians 15:10-11 10 But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me. 11 Whether then it was I or they, so we preach and so you believed.
www.internetmonk.com
www.monergism.com
I am copying in some hip interchange between me and a friend in the Bay Area. Christine (her email below) is a thinker and loves Jesus ... so, what do YOU think? I think you will find all that is below relevant to life TODAY. If you don't, sorry - but you live under a ROCK or you're too self-absorbed. Sheesh. Wake up!!
November 5th, 2008:
I am sending this email to all of my friends and past acquaintances who are pastors, and a few key friends. Despite my bad formatting, this is not a forward and I am writing to you directly.
A friend (who shall remain nameless) sent this to me today, and I finally reached the breaking point. I responded to it directly on the blog:
Gee, this is nice, and it challenges us to nothing. I was raised on this stuff, and I am tired of it. Catholic bishops are standing up across the country against a heinous scourge in our land: abortion, and those who radically champion it. If our church leaders won't lead this, then how are we to expect the sheep to do what's right? What good is a Bible-teaching church if the people who hear it won't vote Biblically?
This morning I read Psalm 106, and I shuddered:
"They even sacrificed their sons and daughters to the demons, and shed innocent blood,
The blood of their sons and daughters,
whom they sacrificed to the idols of [independence, choice, freedom, and non-confrontation]
And the land was polluted with the blood...
Therefore the anger of the LORD was kindled against His people, and he abhorred His inheritance.
Then He gave them into the hand of the nations,
And those who hated them ruled over them....
Many times He would deliver them;
They however were rebellious in their counsel,
And so sank down in their iniquity."
I think pastors need to stand up and say what for about now. If not now, when? This is not negotiable stuff. What is it going to take? One third of my generation died to abortion. I take this issue absolutely personally.
~ A 25-year elder's kid from Peninsula Bible Church, now converted to Catholicism over the issues of life, authority and holiness
"But if I say, 'I will not remember Him or speak anymore in His name,' Then in my heart it becomes like a burning fire
Shut up in my bones; And I am weary of holding it in,
And I cannot endure it."
~ Jeremiah 20:9
The comments came in an interview with KCMO 710's Chris Stigall.
"There are Catholics listening to me right now who are thinking strongly or are convinced that they will vote for Barack Obama. What would you say to them?" Stigall asked the bishop.
"I would say, give consideration to your eternal salvation," Finn responded.
"To vote for a person who has a fanatical determination to not only support abortion as it is now but to remove all limitations on it through the Freedom of Choice Act and to extend it without any recourse -- throwing out all of the efforts of citizens over the last 35 years to place reasonable limits on abortion," Bishop Finn explained.
"By voting for a person who has expressed his determination to do this to Planned Parenthood and NARAL -- you make yourself a participant in the act of abortion and you mustn't do it because your eternal salvation is tied up with that important choice," Bishop Finn said.
http://www.lifenews.com/state3615.html
"If you are what you should be, you will set the whole world ablaze."
~ Catherine of Siena, quoted by Pope John Paul II
MY RESPONSE to Christine's response is below. What do you think?? I am also including a nice article by Cris Larsen about THANKSGIVING that I found helpful and very nice. ENJOY.
MY RESPONSE: I hear you, Christine. I just read Ortberg's article...and I have to say that I liked it...if it's the same one that you are responding to...and I know people who have left the PCA and become Greek Orthodox because of the beauty, the mysticism, and the traditions of meditation and a longing for the Divine - which we've lost in the prostestant world. I agree.
Still, I don't see Ortberg as being against what you've got here....he tells us to VOTE what is Biblical and right....and I agree with him, you can't legislate morality (he doesn't say it that way exactly).... the heart does not change this way - think: Constantine.
Still, even if the heart doesn't change, you DO what is right in the sight of GOD. I don't NOT (sorry for the double negative) sin simply because my heart's not into it.... I don't know... also, I think that we don't live in a THEOCRACY...and I doubt we ever will before HIS return. What do we expect? I don't see Jesus fighting for the lepers politically - he did it spiritually by healing them, not rallying for better rights for them ... he offered them MORE than political freedom, he offered them HEAVEN and a new earth when the time would come.
Still, Scripture is clear that we are to care for the poor and needy (the helpless, like unborn babies), regardless if the government agrees or not. Jesus went ABOVE political precedant. I have been very discouraged about the WORLD these last several months. HE IS IN CHARGE. Good thing.
AND, I agree with you - I've heard a lot of this stuff my whole life and I can smell the same old line a mile away too.
Tom
A beautiful ARTICLE on THANKSGIVING, by Cris Larsen
Copyright Cris Larsen 2002
This Thanksgiving - Cris Larsen Copyright 2002
This Thanksgiving I sit and think of what to be thankful for. People talk about all the “stuff” they own, but I think a bit deeper.
My grandmother always said God gifted me with talent in creating things—art, sewing, woodworking, crafts, and such. I thought it was strange, being “gifted” in something I just did well. How could that be a gift from God? It was just a part of what I did, an extension of myself. I did everything well back then.
Now I think a bit differently. I never thought that I would lose my mind. I had been taught that education was of great value. People could take everything away from you, but they couldn’t take your knowledge. As I got older and my body began to deteriorate, I made it through by knowing that I was an extremely smart, bright individual and although I may be losing my bodily ability, I would always have a sharp, keen brain.
What sweet sorrow to have known and lost. One minute I can function mentally and the next… I really can relate to the poster “The thing I miss the most is my mind.” The frustration and the fear… the discouragement and the anger… the heartache and the pain. Knowing those you see, but yet not remembering their names. Knowing what you want to say, but not being able to express it. Being speechless when you have so much to say.
And yet I have recovered. Not as much as I would like, but more than anyone expected. And I am now put to the question—what am I thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I don’t think my grandmother’s idea strange anymore. Now I think that we are gifted by God in many ways. God gifts people with abilities of which they are not aware and take for granted. Would I again take any of these things for granted again? I hope not.
If you can breathe on your own, if you can walk, if you can talk, if you are alive today—rejoice!! Herein lies your thanksgiving! For there are too many who do not have such marvelous abilities. Do not wait until God takes these things from you before you take these few minutes to thank Him for what you do have—a good memory (or a bad), a smile to share (which we should share more often), a family to enjoy Thanksgiving with. All too quickly all these things can change. It only takes losing someone you love to realize how fragile life is. You could be just three seconds from losing it.
And so now I am thankful for what I do have—my children, what physical accomplishments I have made. I thank God for what I have lost, which sometimes seems so much more than I have, and for those who are my friends, who remind me how much I still have. In losing, I have gained. I have gained perspective and experience, more potentially valuable than what I lost, for in it I can truly be thankful for what I have.
October 2008
19th: It's been quite the week for me personally. I know that some of you are concerned about me. Thank you. Honestly, I spend much of my time being concerned for y'all - so I will receive your love & his grace in this way [for now]. Again, thank you. I am ok. How could I NOT be fine?? Christ is a rock to the helpless and needy. AND - Y'all's love expressed for me LAST Sunday was amazing and precious. Our family was touched, red-faced, and overwhelmed by all of your gifts, words of encouragement, and thoughts expressed by standing in front of us on the platform. THANK YOU.
I don't know WHY exactly or even HOW, but the LORD did something on Sunday, Oct. 5th (besides your love and grace shown to me and my family) that I will not soon forget. While I was preaching, I was, at some point, keenly aware that I was a wretch and WHOLLY trusting in MYSELF, in my gifts, in my plans, my vision for Ridge, & all my schemes. Vanity. I'm sorry.
You know, I think I'm on the edge of despair. Why? Simple. I am not believing the GOSPEL of Jesus. Heads up - the following all applies to you and your life too. Instead, in my sin, I think & believe [and it's hard to let go of this belief] that I can change the world .... that my plans, giftings, and event-coordination can really change the world. And the LORD showed me very clearly in the only way that I would see it - that CHRIST IS THE ONLY HOPE for me, you, this town, Chico, Northern California, to the ends of the earth. Unless HE builds the house - we all labor in vain. Psalm 127:1.
HIS is the ONLY fragrance that will affect, transform, and wholly SAVE and redeem all that is HIS in this world. Problem is, often we don't think that he's enough, so we have to start scheming and pitching all our wares. We are all battling the wrong things, thinking about the wrong things, working towards the wrong goals, playing in the wrong sand-boxes, and shedding blood over the wrong issues. Christ and HIM crucified - it's all we've got.
He's all we've got. He's the only gimmick we have. He's all there is. There's nothing else. Don't put HOPE in horses, races, the legs of man, a nation, giftings, a particular church, pastor, leader, whatever you are tempted to TRUST in-i.e., yourself, your record, your morality, your righteousness, your family, your marriage, your kids, your homeschooling, your public schooling, your private schooling, your education, your skills, your intellect, your goodness and .... all of it (outside of moving us toward HIM - as he's offered in the GOSPEL) all of it will do NOTHING but give you false hope, ultimately lead you to despair... it will all disappoint you. Nothing lasts and stays as fresh as the day you believed for the first time in the Savior. He's the only one who doesn't pale with time. He's the only love who will never see you pale. His love for us is the same as before the foundation of the world.
HE is the LOVER who will always feel like the first time. HE is the KING who always welcomes to his throne of grace. HE is the PRIEST whose sacrifice will always atone, pay and cover all that blocks us from the Father. HE is the Prophet who has spoken once and for all the TRUTH to his people. What is that truth? You are FOUND, HE SAYS! You are righteous because of my righteousness given to you. You are WHOLE because of my brokeness. You are good enough because of MY goodness lavished upon you. You are held, treasured, and adored - because I was let go, killed & buried, & forsaken. HE is the ROCK that will never faulter. He is the HEAD of the church and will provide all the brain-power needed to navigate this life and world of sin. HE is the AUTHOR and perfector of our faith and will do all his holy will in and through us for HIS OWN GLORY. HE will BUILD his church - and the gates of HELL will not prevail against it.
SO - I've spent this past week repenting, thinking, and working to cling to the GOSPEL again. And guess what?????? - this is what I should be doing every week. Because the moment that I get it and cling to it (the GOSPEL) ... it will only be a matter of time before I let go of it (AGAIN) and reach for something else - something promising, something sparkly, some IDOL that seems more, that seems stronger, that seems to promise more to me ... like a TOWER at Ridge PC? Maybe. My greatest FEAR is that I will spend my whole life clutching on to a CHURCH, my morals, my self, my righteousness, my calling, my giftings, or my "good" kids, my marriage .... and find that none of these can do anything in eternity. In fact, those who cling to worthless idols FORFEIT the grace that could be theirs [Jonah 2:8].
Enough for now. Cling to the Gospel. Ok? My calling at RPC is to turn our faces to HIM each week. That's it.
4th: FALL has come! Rains are here. We got over an inch on Friday. Clouds in the sky, wind blowing... Yippy-skippy. Nice. The fragrance of fresh rain. Love it. Sorry, this isn't the weather channel. I'll move on.
I just returned from the Northern California Presbytery of the Presbyterian Church in America. Tongue-twisted yet? If you are, you should try reading without moving your lips. Anyway, it was in Roseville this time, and I didn't really want to go. Homecoming game at PHS, Johnny Apple Seed days, Blues & Brews, etc. happening in Paradise this weekend and where am I?? In meetings with other pastors and leaders from all over Northern California, Hawaii, and Utah (a yawner, right?) ... I didn't want to miss all the fun in Paradise. But I had to go.
These Presbytery Meetings are held twice a year and we simply get together (a host of pastors, elders and leaders from 28+ different churches in the PCA all over the North State). SO, I'm sitting there at the beginning of the "proceedings" and we began by singing... and I was not into it. At all. Then, the LORD began to break through. Here's one of the songs we sang. I was mesmorized.
BEFORE THE THONE OF GOD - words by Bancroft (1800s), New Music by Vicky Cook. Listen to it on YOUTUBE (Click).
Before the throne of God above I have a strong,
a perfect plea A great High Priest whose name is
Love Who ever lives and pleads for me
When Satan tempts me to despair and tells me
of the guilt within Upward I look and see Him there,
Who made an end to all my sin
Because the sinless Savior died my sinful
soul is counted free For God the Just is
satisfied to look on Him and pardon me To look on Him and pardon me
Before the throne of God, I come
Before the throne of God, I come
Behold Him there, the risen Lamb my perfect spotless righteousness
The great unchangeable I Am, the King of glory and of grace
My name is graven on His hands
My name is written on His heart
I know that while in Heaven, He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart
One with Himself I cannot die
My soul is purchased with His blood
My life is hid with Christ on high
With Christ my Savior and my God
With Christ my Savior and my God
SO, I was pretty broken at that point, and ready to be challenged and loved in the GOSPEL. The meeting went great, and we've got issues. Like any church, denomination - we are broken and we struggle at times. But, I was refreshed by brothers & sisters in Christ BIG TIME.
And this reminded me just how important it for us to be together (not just on SUNDAYS), but in other ways ... the potlucks, Home Fellowship Groups, Bible studies, retreats, breakfasts, Blues & Brews, Apple-seed Days, soccer games, ...
Somehow we think that we are FINE. Once again - we are casual, crusty, and frankly UNWILLING to really dig in. Busyness is just a cover up. I WILL finally come to you when all else fails, when all other options, football games, debates, and new TV crime dramas are on repeat (IN syndication) ... but not before. Nope. God have mercy on us. Lord, break us before we get broken.
I look at us at Ridge Church - and I am getting to look at more and more of us as the days go by ... we are a train wreck. Not nice, am I? I said WE. I'm with you. I am a train wreck - big time. When will we run to the GOSPEL? When will we just GIVE UP and go to HIM? When will we STOP playing church and RUN and sprawl out before HIM? WHEN? You know what? We WILL when he does his work in us. Lord, DO your work in us. Move in us. Break us. Break us with your grace. Move us by your mercy.
WHO would have thought that a "MEETING" could bring about such a good blog, huh? ;-) I love you all, even though OUR cabooses are wayyyy off track. Thankfully, Jesus has us! He's got our backs - and he has OUR backs because HIS BACK was beaten and broken. But, never fear - he was willing. We have been, will be, and can be PULLED from the wreckage, why? Because he endured the wreck already ... he already was wrecked so that ultimately we would live and not be eternally "wrecked". See? Let's run to our Conductor!
September 2008
21st:This is just to document that I can do the following:
(1) imitate the voice of the teacher in Charlie Brown. Yes, I can. I proved it on Sunday ...
(2) imitate Blue on Blue's Clues. I love doing that one. Blue's Clues,...Blue's Clues. [you know you're humming the tune].
(3) I can lastly sing the whole (yes, the entire!) Big Mac song from 1975 - "two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun" Mmmmm good. And only 750 calories! Here's a LINK to the commerical ... Enjoy all you ole timers! BIG MAC SONG!
I wanted you all to know that I DO indeed LOVE this church, and thank the LORD everyday that he called me and my family here. Y'all are a blessing to us. May HE continue to woo us and others by his grace found in the GOSPEL.
18: I know it's been a while since I've blogged. I think it's just been a busy time. You too?
Also, there's a lot rolling around in my head as usual, and I'm not sure what is helpful and pertinent to life, love, and all the other mysteries we face.
This study in RUTH on SUFFERING DOES have me thinking. Uh oh.
Ok, here's the thing - so often times we hit a patch of real suffering and wonder why ... when what we should be wondering is WHY the stretch of OK times?? We DO live in a fallen world - and yes, we get glimpses of glory, of redemption, of transformation, of justice, of HIS GRACE - but ultimately it's all just pointing to his return, his coming, what he's doing in eternity. We are in the NOT YET phase.... it's promised NOW, but not yet (completely).
I know that some of you will strongly disagree with me here. We get it all confused because Scripture says in one spot that we are new creatures and then in the next breath it says - BUT WHEN YOU SIN, there is an advocate! I didn't think NEW CREATIONS sinned...and needed an advocate. This is the rub isn't it?!! The truth of the GOSPEL is this: 2 TRUTHS are equally true AT THE SAME TIME and they seem diametrically opposed to one another ... (1) You and I are more sinful than we can see, know, or understand, while at the same time (2) more loved, forgiven, and adored in CHRIST than we can see, know, or understand through the Gospel (GOOD NEWS!). And these are always in tension held up by HIS grace.
I got off the subject - but here's the TRUTH, the row being hoed in this life (is that the right HOE?) is a difficult one. Can I get an AMEN?!! And we're the ones who started it off this way - wayyyyy back in the garden of Eden. We've set the stage for:
death, trial, suffering, thorns, thistles, dirt, horror, blood, sweat, & YES - the tears ...
BUT, God being rich in love and mercy sent CHRIST (HIMSELF IN flesh):
This is the good part....
To deal with the DEATH by dying HIMSELF [in our stead]
To deal with the TRIALS be being falsely tried HIMSELF [when we deserved the gas chamber!]
To deal with the HORROR by suffering a horror-filled death HIMSELF [should have been ours to endure]
To deal with The THORNS by having thorns put on his own head [we produced them!]
To deal with the THISTLES by having thistles unleashed on his own back, crushing the ROSE that he was/is
To deal with the BLOOD, SWEAT, & TEARS by shedding his own blood, sweat, and tears over US because he adored us and would not lose us.
ALL OF THIS is the Gospel. It's our only hope in life and in death - that he has purchased us and DEALT with all our trial with his own trial which gives us WIND and strength to endure whatever thorns, trials, or sweat may befall us in this world. Get it? We do for the moment - but it IS a mystery and we quickly lose sight of it, of HIM, of this "THING" (called the GOSPEL) which has the POWER by the Spirit to make us NEW CREATURES in CHRIST!
AUGUST 2008
30th: I think FALL is here, don't you? I love it. Yes I do. By the way, HAPPY LABOR DAY!
I haven't blogged much lately - for 2 reasons: (1) I am really busy. Big time. School for the kids, church, family, church, family (you know the drill) ... & (2) I've been relatively happy. I usually blog when I'm in my dark place and it's been a few weeks since the hard-hitting PMS. Sorry.
All I want to say is this. I think that RPC is growing a little - we're moving into the MAIN SANCTUARY at the SDA Facility (at least), and I know it's tough and exciting all at once. I know that some of the Ridge family feels scared and even threatened by all the new faces...because it means we start feeling like a larger church - and we lose some of that intimacy and closeness. But wait!! Fight for it!! We can be 200 or 400 OR 20 or 40 ... and the intimacy of our church depends on US (each one of us). Here's the bottom-line: Whatever the LORD wants to do...be open. Me too. It IS exciting and overwhelming all at once - YES ... but the LORD wants to reach people in our town. That's for sure.
See you Sunday...that's tomorrow.
22nd: (the entry below is actually from a guy named Dennis Haack - he is founder of a great ministry called: Ransom Fellowship (RF), and he gets it...trust me!) Enjoy his thoughts -they are great, and it's what we're about at Ridge Church. The link below will also take you right to one his publications - RF's magazine called: Critique.
Critique [click here for full magazine edition]
A Faithful, Messy Purity, Dennis Haack
There is a difference between keeping ourselves
pure, and keeping ourselves aloof from a broken
reality. It’s a huge difference. The first is courageous;
the second, arrogant. The first finds us in
the company of those who love virtue so much
they have pursued integrity, regardless of the cost.
The second is the busy isolation of those who
imagine the problem of moral purity is not in
them but in others. The cost they pay for this
error is a sad superficiality in their relationships--
a superficiality of which they are often mostly
unaware.
There is an irony in this for the Christian. For
the follower of Christ, the final standard for purity
is Christ himself, the one in whom the brilliance,
beauty, and excellence of God was made flesh,
lived out in time and space. Yet, if anyone was
never for a moment aloof from a broken reality, it
was Christ. His critics pressed him at precisely
this point, believing they had discovered a fatal
character flaw, but Jesus would have none of it.
When the Pharisees complained to Jesus’ disciples
that their Master hung out with disreputable
people, Jesus responded by saying they should go
study their Bibles. People opposed to him claimed
he ate and drank to excess at parties with Roman
collaborators, unscrupulous business people, and
sinners. Jesus pointed out their hypocrisy, but the
fact they could voice this complaint is proof that
Christ mixed freely with broken people in a broken
world. In fact, he mixed with them with an
intimacy that did not just scandalize the devout
believers of his day, it would doubtless scandalize
the devout of today’s evangelical community as
well. One Jewish religious leader was disappointed
when Jesus allowed a notoriously sinful
woman (probably a prostitute) to keep on touching
him. It must have taken awhile, too, since the
text says she wet his feet with her tears, wiped
them with her long hair, anointed them with a
special perfume she had brought, and repeatedly
kissed them. (Jesus was reclining for a meal at
the man's house at the time--a setting which
would have been open to passers-by.) Jesus not
only did not stop her, but when his host objected
Jesus told him his hospitality was shabby and that
the woman, not he, would realize the salvation of
God.
But, someone might respond at this point,
Paul approvingly quoted the proverb, “Bad company
ruins good morals,” so how does that figure
in? True enough. If being around people who
indulge in certain things causes us to stumble and
fall, then we must either withdraw until we are
stronger, or better yet, be with them only in ways
in which we can be held accountable. This isn’t
being aloof from a broken reality, but a recognition
we are weak and in need of grace. It will be a
choice and lifestyle marked with humility.
If we choose to keep aloof from a broken
reality we fail to faithfully follow Christ. In his
incarnation Christ entered the messiness of people's
lives to such an extent that his critics could
plausibly insist his engagement with questionable
people was an affront to holiness. That didn't stop
him, and he did it without compromising moral
purity.
Here is another way to put it: “We are not to
love people in spite of their sin,” Jerram Barrs
insists, “but because of it.” “In spite of” sounds
good--but is self-righteous. Just as Christ came to
redeem us because we are sinners, so we must
love our neighbor because they, just like us, are
sinners. Keeping aloof from broken people does
not make us more pure; it merely adds hubris to
the sins in which we indulge.
One of the attractions of being aloof from a
broken world is that it seems neater, easier to
manage. Huddled together with people like us, we
have only our own sins to contend with, and a
little effort can keep them carefully covered under
a sheen of conservative social respectability. The
broken world around us, on the other hand, is
messy, unpredictable, disreputable.
Which is precisely where we have to be if we
expect to be with Christ.
12th: School's back for FALL! As I type that line, I'm humming the tune to "SCHOOL'S out for Summer" [lyrics by Alice Cooper, 1972]. I now have a high schooler. WOW. We both were sort of in tears this morning as I let my little girl out at PHS. Sigh. So, today marks new beginnings for my daughter and for our family.
This month also marks the beginning of a second year at RPC for me as pastor. It was this month last year that I began preaching regularly and moved my family up to Paradise. Seems like the time has passed quickly - just 12 short months, 1 wind storm, 3 snow storms, 2 fire evacuations, and no partridge in a pear tree...but we do have woodpeckers eating away our chimney.
I must say that I am hopeful for this second year at RIDGE PC, but also fearful....is my insecurity showing again? But I know how badly I stink at relationships apart from JESUS and his faithful working in me. You see, I get huffy ... offended, defensive, moody, and even isolating. And guess what - so do all of you (mostly). We all sort of struggle to be in relationship with one another. It's not easy UNLESS you stop talking, stop spending time together, and STOP...just STOP. But I know that the LORD is calling all of us who profess JESUS to keep walking toward one another even when it would be easier to stay away. I know. It's hard. I already am weary with it at times. Ya know? You too, huh?
There are even days when I question my own calling. I am very opinionated, very driven, very passionate about certain things, somewhat artsy-fartsy, and just "in no mood" at times. How could I possibly be a pastor? Pastors are supposed to make everyone happy, be consistent, full of faith...and be a puppet of the congregation or elders. Tongue in cheek. I'm just kidding...or am I? What am I supposed to be?...don't quote I Timothy 3 ... I know what it says. No emails please.
All in all - GOD is faithful (duh), and I am hopeful in HIM...and I know that you all are too...wherever you are. He will build his church. He will build us. He will build...even when we tear down. Even when we don't get it. Even when our mood is wrong and earthy... his grace works and will permeate deeply and ultimately. Count on it...and somehow he accomplishes his purposes in this world for HIS glory. And that includes Paradise and Ridge Church. Ahhh. Very nice.
8th: Back from Mexico, and the week was super. I have enjoyed being back in beautiful Paradise. I missed all of you at Ridge PC. Summer is rapidly coming to an end...and I have to say that I am pleased...I am a FALL guy. Not like Lee Majors, but I love the Sept-Dec. season of every year. I like some FALL colors, rain, and brisk mornings. I also like the fact that people seem more open to GOD at the beginning of a new school year & schedule. I don't know why exactly, but whatever the LORD can use - he will.
I've been thinking a lot lately about something that I didn't think I would ever care about that much - even as a pastor...want to know what it is?? Too bad, I'm going to say it anyway. It's church attendance. Yep.
Let me just say for the record that CHURCH attendance is important...and here's why. It's NOT because I'm preaching and I think I have important things to say so much (ok, maybe that's a little of it), but if you're feeling disconnected from the LORD, from people, from life - it's because you are NOT participating by at least showing up regularly. Folks - consistency DOES matter in parenting, marriage, in your job, in softball, AND in CHURCH. Why is it that all the rules apply everywhere but in CHURCH?? We know that consistently applying ourselves to a diet, a workout routine, anything at all will bring about great results....except when it comes to church, I guess. No, there too.
I'm not scolding anyone, because I know that I get paid to be there, but...I challenge all 4 who read this blog to be more intentional about attending church...and if it's not at RPC - then faithfully show up at some BIBLE-preaching church where you can settle into a BODY and community for the sake of the Kingdom. You might find that you WANT to be there once you estrablish a habit of being there. Kind of like you start craving oatmeal once you consistently eat it (because it's very good for you!). Try 3-5 times a month putting your bottom in a chair at church and you might find that you are getting it, understanding the GOSPEL better which is seeping into your life, relationships, and heart...and that you know people, want to be with them, and even find yourself inviting others - because when you invite, you yourself will be there too. See how it works?? Give it a try!
See you all this Sunday!
July 2008
24th: MEXICO or BUST! We leave on Saturday, and I can't wait!! The team is strong, and we are meeting up with our brothers and sisters from Valley Springs Church in Roseville. Fun times. Pray for us all. Here's the deal - we're helping the real NEEDY, right? NOPE. We are helping those who are NEEDY just as we all are - only we all show our NEEDINESS in different ways. We are ALL needy. We all need HIM. We all need to be loved by others...and by HIM. Thanks for your prayers. I will have no email contact at all. YIKES!!
15th: Guys, for those of you at church on Sunday...I apologize for my "raw" nature. I'm debating whether or not to post it on the podcast. Yep, it was that bad. We were having mic troubles too. I really blame it on the smoke & fire that was literally a half block from my house at some point last Thursday night. Yes, who is to blame DOES matter. Because it can't be ME. You'll learn that about me, as the youngest of 5 kids - I always find someone else to blame for all that ails. There was always someone to point to. A big brother....3 sisters...a dog, cat, parakeet, hamster ...
I have never lived in an area like this before - with snow, wind, and fire. Seriously, I think I was in Post-Traumatic Stress mode on Sunday at church. I am actually in a place [on another planet] this week in which I am getting some needed fresh air. WOW. I feel somewhat like a new man. Don't get your hopes up though, I'm sure by Sunday, I will be back to normal.
Here's where churches and people across denominational lines rise and fall - it's on this issue of the grace of GOD, his sovereignty and power versus our doings, our acting, ... God versus Us. Who is more powerful? Who can affect the most change - who really is FREE and capable??? These are the questions that we have to answer. I think that Biblically speaking, the answer is WE ARE AND GOD IS - BOTH. Here's the rub though - without HIM, our stuff is completely and utterly inconsequential. WITH HIM, the house gets built. Unless HE builds the house, we labor in vain (Psalm 127:1-2). But what I hear the church saying at times is to TRY HARDER. WORK WORK... and I agree - yes! However, the power to work, the reason to work, the grace when we don't work comes from HIS LOVE FIRST. We love because he first loved. Our joy comes from his joy.
I recently heard that quotation about Winston Churchill, that he was a man who had "NO DEFEAT IN HIS HEART." I love it. Churchill really was an amazing man. The speaker who quoted this then said that we as fathers, mothers, pastors, etc. should be like Churchill - no defeat in our hearts. NO!! Here's the deal: we CAN live as men and women who have no defeat in our hearts BECAUSE the God of the universe had no defeat in his heart when it came to having a people for himself....when it came to having us. He went into the fray with no defeat in his heart when it came to our sin and sloth. He went in fearless to defeat the enemy of our soul and even the enemy within (our SIN and SHAME)... he won, so we win. This is the power to live for HIM...to live with no defeat in our own hearts - that our KING went first and even when we continue to run in DEFEAT, he has fought. He is the valiant warrior who will take his limp-armed people into victory. Do you see the nuance? It might be a nuance, but it can sink the ship [remember the iceberg!]. We can't just be told - to try harder or be like Churchill. We can't be like that WITHOUT our Churchill himself, Jesus - who had no defeat in his heart ... and we are IN HIM.
Footprints in the sand ... never forget that there are always and only ever ONE set of footprints in the sand. HE carries you always. He is always carrying you. And because of this truth - you are able to live life as those who will never know defeat (at least ultimately speaking). We are never overtaken really. We are never defeated really. The power to TRY HARDER comes from the ONE upon whose shoulders you rest for evermore. Think of it this way. When you go to a ropes course or rock climbing, etc., would you climb up on that 80-ft high platform and jump off if the ballayer (spelling?) wasn't there? Would you try harder? Would you climb at all? NOPE. Not me. WITH HIM - the world is at your fingertips ... WITHOUT HIM, you're just a man or a woman ... on the ground or in the air heading 100 miles an hour toward the ground.
What's today? The 9th? Anyway, fires fires fires ... what a summer! Wendy and the kids are down in Sac, and I am here in smokey Paradise. My head hurts. Helicopters are in the air because the smoke is a little better due to the evening canyon winds. The fire is on the northeast edge of town on the eastside of the Feather River (drainage ditch). Wind storms, snow storms, fire storms ... are we listening, yet?
I've been thinking today and this week ... yep, I said "thinking". What is our rock-bottom? What brings us there? What does it ... look like? I am learning more and more in life that what MIGHT be "rock bottom" for one person might NOT be rock bottom for someone else. Like if someone gains 10 pounds in one year - that might be the rock bottom limit of sodas and kitkats for that someone. But for someone else - 5 pounds was the rock bottom, or 2 pounds, and then for another it might take 30 or 100 pounds ... and still another might just let it go altogether no matter how much weight is gained. Ya know - we're all different in this regard really?
SO, what does it take to get us to that desperate, rock bottom place in weight gain, in marriage, in parenting, in relationships, in LIFE, in our relationship with God??? ... what does it take to get us serious about HIM in particular? What does it take for us to repent? To believe? To love? To change? To live differently? To live what we know to be true? To care? To...? To even find out what IS true?
I guess bottom line, the Spirit works repentance and change in us by grace found in the Gospel (yes) ... but the Lord uses all sorts of MEANS to accomplish these works in us.
I finally watched Cloverfield (the movie about the monster that "ate" NYC). I could NEVER watch that movie on the bigscreen because the camera moving all around like Blair Witch makes me nauseous! Anyway, there's a scene (LATE in the film) in which a few of the main characters are in a helicopter being evacuated from Manhattan and the chopper gets hit by the monster and begins to go down ... it's a terrifying scene. But keep in mind, this is late in the movie and people have died already including friends of the main characters (and the statue of liberty's head has already been flung half way across New York!!) ... and as this chopper is going down, one of the characters (I think it's Todd) begins saying those rock bottom phrases: "Oh God!, Oh Jesus - SAVE ME, I'm sorry! Oh Jesus, I'm sorry!" My point is - that some were saying this as lady liberty's head was in front of them. Others? Not so much. What does it take?!! I would HOPE that the copper head would do it for me, but I don't know - I'm pretty resistant and stubborn. You?
Ok, you know where I'm going with this, right? When is it that we think our chopper is going down? And would that do it? Would that move us to Jesus, I'm sorry statements - crying out for him?? Would it? What will do it? What will bring about the change in our lives? It's not about fear tactics, but unfortunately, we are casual, lazy, hard-hearted, and often stiff-necked people. Right? I know that I am. Father, would you please bring about our "cloverfield" moments - it's merciful of you to do so. It is. Do whatever it takes to save us, move us, motivate us, change us, transform us ... use even the pain and suffering of this life to tenderly woo us to yourself. Lord, may just 2 pounds be enough to cause us to push away from the table - spiritually speaking. May the "small" incidents in life move us to repentance and belief. May these be our lighthouse - screaming your love and grace to us.
Here's the hard & beautiful truth - our chopper is always going down. Thankfully Jesus already went down on our behalf ... he was already crashed for us, so that ultimately speaking, we will NOT be lost or crashed. The city is doomed apart from him - so run, flee, fly to him ... run toward HIM as fast as you run away from Cloverifield monsters.
HAPPY FOURTH (4th) of JULY - Freedom Day! Here we are again. I can remember going to the Wion's house last year on the 4th and thinking that Becky Wion's famous lemon cake was worth making a move to Paradise for. Still do! I am amazed that we are beginning our "2nd" round of life together at Ridge Church and in Paradise. I hope and pray for a life-time of rounds together.
Let's see - what's happened so far since coming to Paradise??: the biggest wind storm in history, felling trees all over, record snow, and fires fires fires and more fires (including the smoke that goes with) ... Nice. Thanks a lot! Some of you have asked me if I'm JONAH, running from God or something and now - all of this has been brought upon Paradise ... and you know what I say to that?? Throw me overboard quick!! Noooo - I say, just think what it would be like if I hadn't come here!!? ;-)
I hope that today marks a new DAY in freedom for all of us. Freedom that comes by the truth of the Gospel of Jesus. That we all would be truly FREE to love, be loved, and to serve because the GRACE found in Christ. I am free to love no matter what comes back to me IF I am constantly repenting and believing what Jesus has done for me. If repentance and belief are my constant habits - then I will eventually find that the capacity to love, patiently wait on those around me will flow into my heart and life, cresting daily into true freedom.
Happy 4th! I'm off to eat my lemon cake!!
2nd: Well, it's my thinking day. Yes, I have the cap on and everything. So? Don't make fun. I'm having a bad hair day anyway.
I take Wednesdays to study, SABBATH a little (it's my SABBATH since I'm pretty busy on Sunday and even Saturday),...I also spend concentrated time praying, thinking, drinking lots of tea and coffee...and generally - asking the LORD by sitting still what he wants! What do you want, Lord? I have asked this question over the years of HIM. What is the answer? Always the same answer. I want you to worship me, Tom. That's it. Worship - GLORY...worship. Adoration. I want all eyes, including your two on ME...on MOI. ME ME ME ME ME, says God just like the perfect "Millennial" 20-something kid today (no offense you 20s folk - but you know it's true). HE WANTS WORSHIP...and WORSHIP alone. He wants unbridled hands raised, hearts focused and un-idoled minds and beings looking to HIM - period. He is what many have referred to over the years as - a GLORY suck! He sucks and vacuums the universe of all the glory - reserving it all for HIMSELF. This is annoying, because I thought I was the center of the universe and not the 20s people - and surely not Darfur, Sudan....but ME. Whine. Apparently NOT. Shocking!
SO, this is what I have to work out in my salvation that even my obedience isn't the focus.... HE IS. HIS obedience is the focus. HE IS THE FOCUS....whatever may come - HE is increasing...
Here's the deal today - past generations of Christians and even non have gently and vehemently KNOWN that God is great, God is good - and let us thank him for our food. That he's mysterious, and not to be too trifled with...and now, today - we high five him, disrespect him, point all the fingers at him (even the middle one at times), and demand from him - the knowledge. We're still clawing at the forbidden fruit. Still listening to the Slithering House occupants (read Harry Potter). Ok, maybe this whole thing is something WHOLLY other than what we have been doing all along...not that just now, we can get it right, but... maybe Christianity is a HOLY awe with a close intimacy wrapped in mystery. John, the BELOVED disciple who can sup at Jesus' bosom one evening at the Jerusalem Olive Garden and the next day be at his feet terrified because he caught a glimpse of HIS God-ness and Glory on the Mt. of Tranfiguration (Matt. 17). Mysterious and unpredictable.
As I am nearing the end of the Gospel of Matthew - I have yet to see Jesus do what America calls him to do. I have yet to see him be really nice, accommodating, sweet, and accepting (except to complete and utter wretches who are broken and at his feet as though dead). We in the depths of our cold hearts say to ourselves - "Well, if I have to come begging, then forget it!" Jesus says, bye then. The ruler in Matthew 19 goes away SAD and Jesus did not chase after him. He didn't. This surprises us, I think. Jesus was good at surprises even more so than Oprah. You get a SAVIOR! You get a SAVIOR! You get a SAVIOR!! He could turn on end all your beliefs about him, about what Messiah SHOULD be...about what/who GOD should be.
I think that Jesus' message which is coming in more clearly to me lately is this -
Save yourself OR be Saved!...there's no middle ground or middle message received. If you want to save yourself - then get busy, get out, get on with it, get along...and after you've made your bed - lie down in it alone ... because it's the only rest you will ever (even in eternity) have. If you wish to "BE saved" - then fall down, pale-faced, reaching, fleeing, hoping, desperate, and cry out for His MERCY...and the bed will be made for you and he will lie down in it with you. All your hopes will ONE day be realized - with glimpses of that wedding day consummation here. Glimpses mind you.
This is what you signed up for. Me too. Mystery. Hope. A Finale worth staying for even after the credits roll by. A PERSON...Christ. God - the glory suck of the universe!
June 2008
22nd: OK, so more than 2 read the blog. Don't worry, I love you all, ALWAYS... Keep in mind that sometimes as I am working through a message or a Scripture passage - it gets intense. Same with all of us, I guess. So, sorry. The Lord just was working me over big time as I worked through Matthew 18. I had to marinate on it for more than 2 weeks!! Ouch. This whole time felt a lot like some weird OTHER dimension in which I was seeing red everywhere I turned, ya know? Anyway, I am fine. Thanks for the emails of love. I said at church today that I don't like to feel so needy...but it's a good place to be in. Need means that we are ready for CHRIST. And we are never NOT needy. Never. That's a lot of Ns.
20th: One of those weeks again. I don't even know if anyone reads this blog, so I'm going to shoot straight - for my own sake. "All around me are familiar faces, worn out faces...worn out faces." Lyrics from Mad Word (song by Gary Jules, I think). Anyway, mad world. We all operate out of our pain. We all live out of our pain, suffering, betrayal, struggles - creating new pain in ourselves and in others...and it's just compounded over and over and over again. And it has been compounded for centuries. It stinks. I want to say a stronger word, but I might offend.
Don't you have those days in which you just think you're DONE? Done caring. Done trying. Done being. Done thinking. Done praying. Done planning. Done trying (did I say that already?). Done relating. I know at least ONE reason why people are homeless. It keeps people out of your life and it keeps YOU out of other's lives!! It keeps people from getting in to hurt you (to a degree, I surmise). Homelessness is a barrier. A barrier to relationships....at least normal relationships. Sounds good. Barriers. We all create barriers to relationships, don't we?
The chapter in Matthew that we're hitting this Sunday (June 22nd) is Matthew 18 - I hate it. I don't want to preach out of it. I don't get it. I don't do it well. I don't have it all dialed in. My living out and out OF the Gospel in relationships is WEAK. Very weak, and I want to say a stronger word, but I might offend.
I was talking to a guy out at the pool today (Nathaniel had swim lessons) whose wife left him after 6 years of marriage (she came here from another country and probably had planned to get citizenship and then leave him from the beginning)...Sheesh! Anyway, then I'm watching TV (nothing is on on Friday nights, trust me!) - and it's that old flick, Stepmom, you know the one with Julia Roberts & Susan S?? Anyway, relational stuff. Another friend of late hit a terrible relational boxing match with another friend...and is broken and hurt by the whole ordeal. I have other examples...
Everywhere I turn...brokenness, mess, WE STINK AT RELATIONSHIPS ...and all I can think is that it's just not worth it most of the time (it feels that way). I know why pastors are aloof, up in an ivory tower somewhere (it's called the safety box)... getting to know people at all just hurts and eventually means leaving. I know why the average mileage of pastors these days is 5 years. 5 years and most pastors are done. DONE DONE...and undone. Relationships just eventually hurt. Christians, church people,.... sheeple - ouch. Relationships usually or eventually BLOW UP. They usually DON'T last or stay in that beautiful, wonderful mysterious state of HOPE for very long, do they? We always hope so much in these relationships ... maybe this person will be....be WHAT? Be GOD to us??! That this relationship will really do it for us?? Maybe this person will be all that I ever dreamed. Nightmare.
Some of you [I mean the 2.2 of you who read this blog] are thinking right now that I am just cynical and in need of counseling. Am I?
Monk-hood sounds good. I want to run (and it's not about my marriage, ok?). It's just how I am feeling at the end of this week. Actually, I just want to SHUTDOWN. Do you know the feeling? Like, I will not put myself out there again. I will not trust. I will not be known. I will not try to know. I will stay in the shadows. I will not invite others in or be invited in. It's safer.
YET, the Gospel says that I can't do the SAFE thing. I say to myself - SO? Who cares? I know that the GOSPEL can transform my thoughts and feelings and even ACTUAL relational ills. I know that repentance and belief are keys to unlock the power in the GOSPEL of Jesus (Romans 1:16-17). I know that Christ has completely cared for me - thus I can give, trust, be open, get hurt, and experience pain in relationships... with his covering.
You know what? It all boils down to idolatry. It just does.
It sucks to be here. Just have to say it. It just does. And you know what? I cling to Christ more because of it - and I think always have. And so did and DO many believers around the world and throughout history... they suffered, LIVED lives of trial and pain - and clung to JESUS. We do not cling to HIM. We only care that he makes life easy and happy for us. This is not Christianity. It just isn't. I know I said "SUCK" because it's further down, and only 1 of you is even reading this by now. I trimmed the fat...
I should go to bed. I probably just need to sleep it off. Too bad that I don't DRINK!
15th: Well, it was great to see those of you who could make it in to church this morning. Relieved to see you all. For those wanting to do more for those caught in the wake of the fire storm - call me at the church office to brainstorm and discuss options. 872-8270.
Today is Father's Day - according to Hallmark. I'm not big on these holidays... it's marketing, but hey, it's not a bad thing to honor moms and dads. Just do it all throughout the year, and you're good. Today is also my 17th wedding anniversary. WOW. Time sure flies by - life is a vapor as the writer of James says. I thought I would be in my 20s forever (didn't you?), and somehow I missed my 30s (what happened?) and am now at least a "toe" into my 40s.
By the way, I wanted to apologize for something I said in church today. I said [in response to a question during the Q&A time] that we are like Scarlet O'Hara - "good-for-nothings"...and though I clarified that statement somewhat, I am convicted that the statement was a bit too much with not enough clarification. SO, let me try again.
We [humans] are made in the IMAGE of GOD and have very good-for-something attributes through this common grace of God. However, because of our great head-over-heels FALL at the hands of Adam & Eve (and then, our personally added-on sinfulness to theirs), we have become (apart from the saving grace and work of Christ)...good-for-nothings, at least spiritually speaking (cf. Eph. 2:1-2)...which doesn't mean that we don't actually do some pretty good things in this world (because we still bear his image, though the image is marred/tarnished). SO - apart from Jesus, these "deeds" are still not good enough to save us even in the least. NOTHING is good enough. There is BUT one good-enough "deed" to save us - wrapped up in the death, burial, & resurrection of Jesus. That's it. SO - we are good-for-nothings in one sense, but made good for even more than something by the grace and Gospel of Jesus. There.
I love our church. I love the love shown...the kindness and grace that oozes out each week when we gather. ALL because of the Gospel. I'm just in a mushy mood. Sorry. Blame it on the fire.
3rd: I think I'm too honest sometimes. I mean - you know how some people think that JUST because they're being honest that it's loving? Well, sometimes it isn't. Anyway, it dawned on me that sometimes when I preach, I don't leave you with enough HOPE. True? Yes? No?
Here's the deal - the bigger fear for me sometimes is to give you the WRONG hope...or false hope. The only hope you and I have is Christ and the grace offered to us through the Gospel [Good News] - what he did for us at the cross (died in our place) and the tomb (rose from the dead as the first among many). That's it. There's no fairy dust involved. It is bloody though. And, It's a miracle. But it's our only hope.
Problem is - it doesn't feel like it/HE's enough. It/He seems weak, pale, and even suspicious at times. Am I alone on this? There has to be more, we say to ourselves sometimes. There has to be MORE I can hope in when life falls apart... more to add to Jesus.
Shouldn't I be able to hope in myself, my relationships, and my circumstances?? Not really [and I'm being nice here]. In fact, hoping in these makes IDOLS out of them ... which disrupts our hope in the Gospel - and this (simply said) is the root of all our problems! Yes, it's true.
There I go again - not giving hope ... so, hear ye, hear ye! HOPE IN JESUS and his grace ALONE. Run to HIM! Flee to Christ! He is your only hope. Anything else - will leave you ... well, eventually - hopeLESS.
2nd: WOW. I sang all the way home on Sunday after church. Of course, I was alone in my car . . . I was on cloud nine. Why? Because I was back with my church family. I missed you all so much. I was so blessed by all of you. Thank you. You ALL are the reason we're in Paradise. You all show forth HIS glory!
I want to reiterate a verse from Psalm 116 that I read on Sunday morning. Verse 7.
7 Return, O my soul, to your rest;
for the LORD has dealt bountifully with you.
What is or brings REST for our souls? What is it? What brings rest to us? What gives us that "sigh of relief?" Is it perfect or near perfect circumstances? Is it reading your Bible and DOING all the right things? Is it serving? Is it being moral? Is it being married or single or with kids or without kids? Don't get me wrong - there's nothing wrong with any of these check-offs. BUT, without sounding too much like a pastor, REST comes to our souls from one place and one circumstance only. Know what/where it is? Of course you do.
THE GOSPEL OF JESUS CHRIST!!
SO, what is the Gospel of Jesus Christ - if this is our soul's rest? What is it? Too many questions, huh? Ok, it's this (but more)... THE GOSPEL is you and me standing condemned, totally CAUGHT... hands in the cookie jars, demanding our innocence, proclaiming our rights and completely blind to our need... JESUS steps in and says (by his death, burial, & resurrection) I love you, you are mine, Oh - and I know you're nasty, dirty, guilty, and undone. I see it, I know it, and I have called you by NAME. Rush to me, rest in me, rest on me, rest with me ... this IS the Gospel.
May 2008
20th: Back safe and mostly sound (no promises). We are back in Paradise, and it's good to be home. Thanks for all the well-wishes for our week in Hawaii (Kaua'i - The Garden Island, and it sure is/was!). We are great, and life is back in FULL force for the Savage family. Doesn't take long. Laundry, kids, ball games, school, bulletins, phone calls, crisis, sermon prep (though I don't preach again at Ridge until June 1st), Summer planning, Fall planning, visting, e-mailing, etc. etc. Life buzzes along, doesn't it?? It's the same for all of us. We missed you all, and have been thinking about you.
I feel a little fragile still - with all that is happening right now in the world (and keep in mind that it's all happened before) ... earthquakes (China - death toll so far is 50,000 people), hurricanes (Myanmar - death toll is 100,000 last I heard and many many more in need, hungry & hurt), more death/murder in all cities, war, destruction, pain, loss, and political dirt...all while American Idol and Dancing with the Stars crowns winners this week. Sometimes it all seems pointless. Don't get me wrong, I'll be watching too!
Maybe I'm not fragile, maybe I just realize that life is. We are not in control. We are not as strong as we think - our Ridge PC member cards (and most of y'all don't even have one of those) do not make us immune to pain, loss, and our own personal and familial earthquakes, do they? Life and the LORD march in and DO as they please. Doesn't it seem like that? It seems like that - because it IS like that. You signed up for a God who allows his SON to die on the cross, allows sickness and death... and though it SEEMS that he sits idly by, he is active. He is reaching a people for himself, and THAT IS his purpose and plan - to redeema people, love a people, and ultimately HAVE a people for himself for all eternity. And there will be carnage. Beginning with himself!
This is our God. He reigns. He does as he chooses. We don't get to hold him down, press his face to the mat and demand from him. We get a Father who KNOWS what his kids need and what it will take to woo us, conquer us, and save us ... period. And we get a Father who loves as he loves not as we think he OUGHT to love. He loves and epitomizes perfect, mature, holy LOVE that isn't blinded by sin, his own need, or lustful greed.
I challenge us all today to look at (yes, even dwell on) the world and BE DESPERATE. Desperate people need a Savior. As you and I sit on the couch and cheer for the DAVIDS of American Idol - might we hope in HIM, the one true, ultimate winner ... he wins even without the people's vote.
10th: Well, I am officially on vacation. I do need a break - everyone does at some point. SO, I wanted to encourage everyone to take one (a break that is, when you can - to do something different, to unplug, to do NOTHING unles that's what you normally do - then you should so SOMETHING).
As I review the last 10 months or so, it's been quite the ride. Preaching, interviewing at two different churches, pastoring at Valley Springs, then saying good-byes & hellos, selling our home in Roseville, buying our home in Paradise, starting a new job here at Ridge PC... packing, unpacking, creating a website, & tons of other new things, new schools for the kids, new friends, new names to remember, preaching weekly (which I've never done before), adjusting to a new town... and the list goes on - just like the beat. It's all been fun (mostly). BUT - it's time to pull away and re-charge.
Jesus pulled away. Several times in our Gospel of Matthew series, we see Jesus taking time to leave the crowds and the regular pace of his life and ministry to be alone, to go someplace quiet and refreshing... SO, if the SON OF GOD needed a break - so do all of us. PLEASE take time over the next months to relax and recharge so that in the FALL - we can all come back ready to grow grow. I am anticipating an increase in our attendance in the Fall at Ridge PC, starting in September as we move into the main sanctuary at the SDA facility.
Be READY to welcome new faces. READY to invite new people. READY to see God transform us all by the Gospel of his grace. READY to work hard at keeping our intimate family atmosphere at Ridge...even with new people coming in.
I will see you all soon - and just know that through all the changes and transition, you all have made it much easier. Ridge PC is the best!!
April 2008
29th: As I said on Sunday, I think the Christian life is MUCH grittier than we make it. The Gospel of Matthew is showing us a "gritty" Jesus. Don't you think? One whose statements, actions, and unpredictability MUST be grappled with... The reason that JESUS doesn't seem to fit in with our lives is because we have "packaged" him and shrink-wrapped him into a modern evangelical bubble...and our lives aren't like that. Our lives are messy, earthy, trial-ridden, even full of pain and suffering. His was too. He was born into abject poverty with a KING (Herod I) trying to kill him. Ending with death on a cross - naked, alone, betrayed, and broken.
Why do we expect HEAVEN here?...what we should (I would go as far as to say MUST) expect here according to Scripture is joy that goes beyond circumstance, peace during sinking ships, & hope even though death and darkness "seem" to reign.
Romans 8 is really clear... "creation groans as in the pain of childbirth" ... ok, I've never given birth personally, but I've watched and supported my wife as all 3 of our children were born. I have heard the groans of childbirth...and it ain't pretty. Sorry, dear. In fact, if this whole "season" [this side of heaven] according to Paul is like/compared to childbirth, then we can only expect pain, contractions, pushing, struggle, some yelling-even screaming , a desire to rip your husband's head off, a few ice chips (if the nurse is nice), & even fear.
What Jesus offers is this: Himself (this should be enough!), but with HIM comes - his promise, his presence, his righteousness, his standing with the Father, his coming Kingdom, and his love [which we can NEVER be separated from] during this LABOR. At the close of the ages, when BIRTH finally/actually happens, instead of Rosemary's baby, we get the softest, most precious child ever - HIM, the realization of HIS Kingdom, eternal life, and all the benefits of his Sonship ...
I think we seriously confuse all of this, and get it backwards and even upsidedown. PUSH everyone, push!! .... he's holding and breathing with us... because he's the best "lamaze" teacher ever!
16th: So, how are y'all? You holding up after the sermon on Sunday? Last week's message has so far ON-LINE received the most HITS than any other. Weird. It felt HOT in there to me. You? Was it just me? By the way, I posted my full-length set of sermon notes on the website - if you want more details. If that interests you.
Anyway, I don't think we get it. I include myself here, ok? I don't think we really have a clue about what Christianity is all about. I feel like a kindie-gardner. Big time! I think the BIBLE, Christian theology, and the church (in general - the modern evangelical church) has been somewhat broad-sided and "totaled" by MODERNISM. Modern people (in America) put everything into nice, neat, well-contained categories and boxes. Everything has to make sense for a modern. I am one, ok. And whatever doesn't fit a category/box is either ignored or squeezed .... squeezed to the point that it changes form and shape and becomes unrecognizable.
Christianity for most of us (as moderns) is very formulaic. Here's how it works - I do this, God does that... I DO, and he DOES. If he doesn't DO for me, then I DO more of this or that...and then he DOES. And if I DO more and more and he DOESN'T DO in response - then I/we are/get pissed. Right? Am I wrong? It's a form of American-modern paganism. It's not Bible. It's not Jesus. It's not repentance and belief in the Gospel. I think we're deceived.
Look it, Americans completely LIVE for here. For now. For affluence (hey, I know I do!)... we live for comfort, for NO suffering (none), for a padded-easy life,...when most of the world lives in poverty, war, suffering, disease, and hopelessness. Jesus, heaven, & a new earth - HIS glory, these all actually MEAN something to these people (to the church in these places). It's something to long for. We have nothing to long for - because we pad our lives so much here, that we long for nothing except more convenience and better behaved children. Our longings are so thin - so unworthy. And then, when STUFF does hit close to home or on our home...we freak. We totally think that GOD owes us, that we deserve more than eternal life, salvation, hope for heaven and an existence that goes so far beyond here that we can't even fathom it... we're like, "hey, God - what are you doing here?" We point our fingers at him demanding MORE from the God of the universe. More than his giving of HIMSELF...condescending to us in mercy and grace.
God has become our puppet. He has become our contained and predictable "GOD IN A BOX." His mystery, his total sovereignty, his glory, his providence, his purposes, his will, his plans, and HIMSELF are "beside the point". Well, actually - WE'RE beside the point!! HE IS THE POINT. And I have to be honest, that bugs me. It more than bugs me...it chaps me! You?
Oh, GOD - teach us what it's really all about! Not the hokey pokey, I'm guessing. Teach us true Christianity... that embraces the Gospel for all of life... and that longs for WORTHY things.
8th: Well, my parents arrive tomorrow...it's been 4 and half years since they've been in CA. I, of course, have seen them during that time, but not much over the last 5 years really. They've never even met our dog, Romeo.
I can't wait for you all to meet them and for them to meet our new family here in beautiful Paradise...and at Ridge PC. They get up in the morning (Alabama time) at 4:30am. Please be in prayer for them as they travel (as seniors in their 70s). I plan to hang out with them as much as possible, but also will be working too. It will all be fine. I have the best job in the world!
Thanks for all of you who brought b'day gifts to me today. You shouldn't have, but thank you. Your love and kindness are evident and appreciated. Big time!!
March 2008
30th: I want to thank Ridge Church...today was a long service. You all did well. WOW. New members and a sweet baptism....yes, and a little LONG preaching. I was in story-telling mode. My bad.
Look, I know this series in Matthew has been rough. I am realizing that temperatures are beginning to rise...as Jesus moves toward the cross. It just hit me today that all of the tensions are mounting because of Calvary. It makes sense. And, I am feeling the tension. Jesus is saying things that really tick off the religious people of the 1st century... and that on top of other things gets him killed - by the decree and plan of God, no less.
Ok, on another note - I just can't believe God is still using the CHURCH (in general). I know, I've said this before...but maybe you don't want to read that far down. I just can't believe that with all our inability and lack of will to really know our own dark hearts (I am wayyy including myself here)...and our constant bickering, pettiness, conflict, gossip, and relational ineptness - that people STILL get saved. It is by his grace alone, huh? I know that to be true. On top of our NOT looking into our own hearts, we don't want the Gospel either. I so want to just get my life in order - rather than repent and believe in what Christ has accomplished for me.
I think I am only now after nearly 30 years beginning to see what Christianity is all about... and I still have miles to go before I sleep.
21st: Well, I am officially a fake and a wash up! Yep. I tried entering into the sufferings of Jesus this HOLY WEEK - by simply not eating that bite of chocolate or by saying no to a sugary treat or better still in conversations - working to stay OTHER-centered rather than self-centered ... why? So that Jesus would notice me? No. So that I could be a "good" pastor? No. So that he would love me more? Of course not. Why then - why all the fuss? Because I wanted ONLY to feel for a brief, fleeting moment a very very very tiny piece of what Jesus felt in giving up heaven, in going without so that I would have all things through him. I just wanted to feel a tiny tiny (miniscule) part of what his sufferings might have been like...and when suffering or denial or sacrifice really presented itself to me in just a few days - I just couldn't do it. Dying to self - to wants, to desires, to... anything that we/I WANT is so tough.
It's a good thing that HE is what we cannot be. THUS, in him we are the "righteousness of God". In the end, here on Maundy Thursday I am a man who needs a Savior. I am a man who is weak...and unwilling to sacrifice. And so, I cling to him. I confess again that I am a sinner, a naive, a sickly sheep - only wanting green pastures and my 3 solids a day. And my Great SHEPHERD lovingly looks at me and says - feast away, dear one. I will go hungry. Drink up - I will be thirsty, it's ok. Run and play - I will remain crippled and dark because I adore you. Have all the light and life ... I will go into the tomb... I will hang and die. Why? Because I love you. Because you cannot do this perfectly - it is all left to ME. HE SAYS, I love watching you eating, drinking, singing, living, laughing, hoping in ME, holding on to ME, loving me because I first loved you ... you are safe in my love.
Afterall, the result of my Passion Week "experiment" is the same as always - I need the GOSPEL. I don't know the GOSPEL. I need a Savior! Not a bad result. What drives us back to his arms and love - always a good thing.
Thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
17th: I want this HOLY WEEK to be different. I don't want it to go by without me....changing. I want to show HIM that I understand his scarifice for me - for a stiff-necked people. I know that his love for me will not change no matter what I do this week....but I want him to know that sacrifice and suffering is worth it to have HIM. He obviously thought it was worth it to have US.
As I am working through Matthew's Gospel, I am beginning to see that we want JESUS for what he can DO, not for who he IS. I am so guilty of this. What he can DO (and DID) is not un-important, but in the end, having HIM, the person of JESUS (Son of David - Son of GOD) needs to be enough even if nothing else comes or changes. Even if there is only dry, weary land, no water, sharp rocks, no fruit on the vines, and I die in obscurity... having HIM, knowing HIM, being loved by HIM...is enough. Isn't it? Shouldn't it be?
If he's not enough for us - just HIM....perhaps we'll need to re-think Christianity from a Biblical perspective. If he is the GOD incarnate and was and is and is to come - just knowing him, just being reguarded by him is indeed enough. But don't worry, HE will DO all his holy will. Never fear.
4th: I am overwhelmed at the love of such a GOD for such a ONE as I....am. I have sat and listened to hurts, pain, & soul sadness today. As a pastor, I am privileged to see glimpses of glory, fall, & redemption in actual people outside of just myself. This is a joy and a treasure. A treasure. I am in love with Ridge Church and with Paradise....its people.
I am out of town from Thursday until Saturday night this week, BUT I will see everyone at church on Sunday for Commandment #5 and then corporate worship at normal time. I will be in Utah for a series of meetings with other pastors from within the Presbyterian Church in America (our churche's affiliation - the PCA). It should be fun to catch up with everyone...but I will miss Paradise. Wendy and Garrison will be at Sutter's Fort....for an overnight. Fun times.
February 2008
21st: Well....as I was turning lights out downstairs tonight, getting last kids off to bed - I checked the back sliding door, pausing...noticing in some ways for the first time today that it was raining outside. Rain. As cliche or overdone as it might sound - I thought to myself, all of Paradise is crying tonight. We're all wet with tears and sadness at the loss of Sue Caldwell.
You see, I walked into the ER this morning, turned a corner and saw Sue's body on a bed - and Sue was no longer with us. She had been taken by the Father. She was, at that very moment experiencing joys and pleasures forevermore in the presence of the Lord while I, we, the rest of us sat shattered in pieces. Left behind. Never in a million years would I have thought that my first funeral at Ridge Church would be my friend, sister, & mother in the faith, Sue Caldwell. Never.
All I can say is - we are not promised another day, and Sue's life and death scream at all of us to take note. Life is a vapor.
Sue and Dana - and much of their immediate family got to know MY family as we lived with them for a few weeks before we moved into our home here in Paradise. They saw our kids (and us) in all our glory!! AND get this, they still came to Ridge Church....what gracious people!
Rain rain, go away - come again another day.
Life is short - live for Jesus. Period. That's all I got. He's all we ever have. If you don't know that, believe it, or take it seriously - you're a fool. Sue would agree.
12th: I got to speak at MOPS today. It was really fun. Later in the day, I was hanging out with Kevin Reid for lunch, and he asked: What's M O Ps stand for - Moms On Parole? I thought that was a good one. I was very privileged to be with the moms (of preschoolers). Yes indeed. Good coffee.
I was asked to speak on Marriage and Relationships. Yikes. Me? Though I have known Wendy for over 18 years and been married for nearly 17 - I consider myself a preschooler when it comes to marriage and relationships. Half the time, I feel as though I'm at the coloring page table with numbers and shapes....still not sure what's going on.
I began the talk with Genesis 4:8 - ..."and Cain killed Abel." This is the trail we head down apart from the working of Jesus in us. We head toward murder - and murder takes many forms (most of which WON'T land us in jail - or on parole - see the tie in?).
I said early on that we all stink at relationships. I think the moms weren't ready for that one, but the truth is - we all struggle to rightly place relationships and marriage. We all struggle with people - whether the clerk at K-mart, our kids, or our wives and husbands. And when it comes down to it - we sort of stink at all of this. It's tough to admit, isn't it? Most of the time - we more readily admit that EVERYONE else stinks at relationships.
In a nutshell: quit worshipping marriage. Quit worshipping relationships in general - expecting to get from them what only the GOD of the universe can do for you and give to you...enjoy the strange and subtle beautiful of those around you...and how each person including your spouse is hand-picked by God to be there (even flawed and even with dirty socks on the floor).
4th: The rub is this - IF we can identify our need as far to the core as possible, the GOSPEL of Jesus is sweet, refreshing, and ALL THE GOOD NEWS we'll ever need. Problem is - we only seem to get glimpses of the need that is so deep and covered. We live our lives in such a way as to protect ourselves (in heart, soul, & mind) from the depth of need that we really have.... it's true. We're blind to our need most days and moments.
Embrace the need - Embrace the GOSPEL (over and over and over and over again for life). The result? - JOY. Hope. Growth. Evangelism. Renewal. When we see others around us whose need is exposed - we can offer the GOSPEL....(of course, it's all that we have - nothing else). This IS Christianity. Nothing more and nothing less. Everything else is almost irrelevant.
January 2008
29th: Now you're all worried about me. Don't be. It's ok. I am held. Though we fear we're friendless - he is a friend that DOES indeed stick closer than a brother. I think I was born to be EMO. Look, the low times were only meant to drive you to the HIGH ONE - his Honor, the Savior. I am in his chambers now, and he is reigning with love and tenderness. All is well. All is secure. It always was and will be. We don't know and never will know what rock bottom is...in Christ. He is the Rock - so even when we touch the ROCK "bottom", it is HIM. Trouble is - we don't want him, do we? Really. If we do - it's because he is wooing us again. WOO away, Lord!
I have to share what happened to me yesterday in the midst of my own storm.
I was at the gym, and I saw this grandfather and his grandson - and the grandson was maybe 7 years old or so. This boy was mostly mute (just screams and soft noises). He was partially blind, physically handicapped at the feet and hands, and was smiling at me as I walked by. I completely fell apart. I went to another part of the gym where thankfully it was not crowded. I cried HARD. I felt like a flake and so stupid. I started cursing at myself - idiot and emotional child!! I found myself yelling at God - angry for all the sh** in this world...all the things that should be right as rain - like my kids, like me, like the church, LIKE THAT LITTLE BOY, like all the relationships that once a foot into become unbearable, etc etc.......I....long for it all to go away....my struggles, my fears, a little boy's affliction - including my OWN afflictions.
I tried for several minutes to get a hold of my stupid self....the grandfather and his g-son were now in the lockeroom. The grandpa was working hard to get this boy dressed. Each item was a struggle. They both seemed rather patient. I asked the elderly gentleman - "Is this your grandson you are caring for?" He replied - "Yes, I have him today." I said back - "He's beautiful." He replied: "I know - I know." It was a struggle just to get a pair of socks on this kid. And I sit complaining that my boy bounces around too much and is too inquisitive. I should be shot in the head. God already did that to Jesus for me, though.
I know that what I am crying about & longing for is from GOD. It's the longing in all of us. If you don't LONG - you've stopped believing and hoping. Longing to return to EDEN (and Jesus promises MORE than Eden)...to face the sword and the glowing angel at the opening - he has done it. We long for HEAVEN. It's in us to long for such things... I rested on the way home from the gym knowing that he IS indeed at work in my heart as wretched as I see it sometimes.
27th: discouragement hits us in so many ways and in so many different forms. It comes with bad news. It arrives in the form of unmet expectations. Discouragement hits us as we glimpse ourselves at our worst and sometimes as we see ourselves at our best (which will never be good enough).... or it shows up in the disappointments we have with one another. This is a big part of it.
Why is it mandatory for every ointment to have a fly or two in it? Ugh. Truth is - many of the flies were inadvertently placed there by us.... we are the fly makers/placers! If I'm not putting flies in my own ointments, I'm carefully (& secretly) and sometimes with full on vengence and openness placing them in your lucious ointments. Sorry. I can't help myself. Is it possible to have our ointments without the poop eaters mixed in?
Creation, Fall, Redemption, Glory. These are the 4 major themes of Scripture and life (Genesis 1-3). Everyday is a mixture of 1, 2, 3, or all of these. Somedays you see in me sheer, raw creation - a man. A man who is ruling and maintaining the garden given to him.... and then out of the blue will rush in the FALL - hate, anger, revenge, control, complete and utter diobedience and lust - idolatry, worship of self - or whatever the flavor of the month happens to be. With that, the Gospel is present and can be smelled and inhaled for life and hope and incremental change....redemption. Then, there are the rare but awesome moments, when you will see me firing on all 8 cylinders in spectacular GLORY.... responding well, listening well, seeing all the beauty - trusting, worshipping, and living as though the KINGDOM has come (which it has - but not COMPLETELY yet). These are the moments when the right song comes on the radio. Your kids behave just right - or rather to your liking and to everyone else's praise and awe (of you as a parent). Or, you have just the right amour for your spouse, and your job feels less like a curse and more like what you were made to do...and all the world seems to be at your fingertips and right as rain.
You know these days, right? Or, rather - you know these "minutes"/seconds. They come in like the tide and often disappear with the foam of the waves. Glimpses of GLORY. What the GOSPEL of Jesus brings is more and more photo opps of the redemption & GLORY parts associated with his Kingdom....YES!
I am so weary of the FALL days (ya know?). SO tired of my feeble, fallen creation - though I'm glorious....I'm a ruin. Somedays, I am tired of hoping at all, which is why I KNOW that salvation is from HIM. He will get us to heaven - not our willful determination and moralism that isn't even moral!! If he doesn't get us there, trust me - you won't make it! I won't make it.
When am I supposeed to go for it? I don't want to build a tower for myself. It won't stand in the end anyway. What WILL stand? What investments will stand the test of eternity? People and the Word of God? I think so.
Look, I think this is what we're all supposed to be doing in this dustbowl of middle earth - we're supposed to watch how life is dished out by the HAND of the God of the universe, then take the Scriptures and push life through it. Not just in the places that we know and like - but push it through the people of Scripture - their woes, their events, their falls, their...allow their lives to speak into our lives. Take the Gospel like a juicy burger and digest it... drink the Gospel like a delicious blended mocha from the Naked Lounge Coffee House. If you don't know how to do that...then figure it out. Take the time and effort to figure it out...like you figure out all the other stuff in this world that YOU WANT. Me too.
Disappointment. That's where I started this whole entry. It ends with the Gospel. Yep. Again. Sick of hearing that? Well, it's all you've got. Hey, I'm as tired of hearing it as you are. That's our issue. We want it to be more or something else...and it just isn't. The power. The hope. The reality of all there is.... rests in the GOSPEL. GOOD NEWS - HIS news whether we get it or not. Go ahead - look somewhere else for the hope and the longings that eat at your soul. Nothing will fill it or satisfy them. Nothing. Oh, it may FEEL like it sometimes...or for that split moment.
If you long for more - then you are showing your stripes....that you were made for the renovated EDEN. Wait. Hope. Don't be disappointed.
20th: Y'all are all amazing at Ridge PC. Enduring the SIN sermon today. It's the first of more...sorry. Sin just comes up in Scripture a lot. Dang. Isn't it telling that SIN rears itself in chapter 3 of the BIBLE. Chapter 3!!! I didn't feel ON today (that's ok - God's always ON). Long weekend, but I loved being with you all as always.
Here's the deal. Genesis 3 exposes us - boldly. It also exposes the deep love of God that comes after and pursues US even in our SIN. Where are you? Always asking...always pursuing.
A healthy ABILITY to look at, admit, and confess SIN in your life and mine MEANS that the Gospel can be kissed and applied and then....TRANSFORMATION breezes into our reality. It's Christianity 101...and you never pass it. You have to keep taking it over and over and over again. That's ok. Graduation will be worth it.
12th: It's crossed my mind more than once this past week: "What's up with God STILL using the washed up church to reach his world?" The church is so:
rusty, old, out of date, worn out, compromised, watered down, confusing, building-LESS (in RPC's case anyway), full of hypocrits, boring, not a draw, programitized, robotic, boring,....add your own _______________.
I know, I shouldn't talk about the BRIDE of Christ like that. She might be dirty, a little desheveled, have a filthy wedding dress on - but HEY, she's still HIS. What was the LORD thinking? Some BODY. We're loose - in more ways than one. We're like the bug-eyed wall flowers at the prom or the skinny unathletic geeks (so as not to be sexist - satisfied?). But HE still loves us, and says that it's (we're) his way - to use the church to do his bidding. Jesus is the originator of the underdog story. Paupers to rich kings. Ugly ducklings to beautiful swans in the span of a cross and empty tomb. An old, pale-faced church to bring/gather in all his people for his glory....rags to riches.
I still drive around Paradise some days wondering why we bother anymore. Why? I mean, I could find another job, right? I have education. I have gifts. I have skills....don't I? Well - not skills like some of you. I don't know which end of a hammer works the best. Is there only ONE end that does? Hmmm. Anyway, I digress.
I mean, we could all find something better to do on Sundays, right? Many of us do already. ;-) Oh, I'm just kidding, sort of. A little. But - do we believe that the church can actually affect the purpose for which it was inaugurated in Acts (after the Gospel of John)? Many of us would be grateful if it (the church) just went away. Come on - you would be. You know you would. It would free up time, brain power, and the whole guilt meter would relax a little. But the church won't - go away, will it? Not my choice. It's his.
It's the same deal with the GOSPEL. As old as it gets. As repeated as it is - we still don't understand it, really. We just want LIFE and Jesus to offer more than what they do. We think that they offer a way for life to work out - to be manageable, BETTER - safe. Of course, they do - but not in the way that we want or think they should. The Gospel is what all of life (in reality) revolves around, and we just think it's old news, washed up, and old hat. But it isn't.
Reminds me of the time in Scripture when King Josiah FOUND the LAW OF GOD (his WORD) after a long dry spell in Israel. He read it, and many had never heard it, and all of the sudden, they were all standing up crying for the LORD to have mercy on them. They realized after the really long, really DRY spell that life wasn't as rich without Yahweh as maybe they once had thought. You see - we only see in the contrast. We only see our NEED when we are IN NEED. We are not good at conceptualizing it outside of experiencing it. What I'm trying to say is that we rarely just take God's "word" for it. We have to get there and then go - oh, I think that HIS way IS best. Duh. I think that what he promises is worth more than all the tea in China. And don't the Chinese have more rice than tea anyway? Not to be racist. I hate always having to disclaim - but that's the world we live in now. I refuse to disclaim when it comes to white trash, red-neck, and southern living. Why? Because that's my world. We never have to disclaim about our own.
So - back to the church! We have to do it again. The Sunday thing. Church. Corporate worship. Gather around grace and the Gospel again - each time. We have to sing. Praise HIM. Re-adjust our hearts toward his grace. We do it again. It's the old thing, but we still don't get it, so I guess - we better show up again and keep hearing it, and trying it on for size. And it DOES fit. Trust me.
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5th: Getting to know you. Getting to know all about you. Getting to know you. We want it, but we don't want it. We want to be known...and we want to know others. But do we really? It's a tough call. Familiarity breeds contempt. Why? Because if I know you (really know you), then I have amo and when you try to call me to the carpet on anything at all, then I take you down. Vice versa works here too. It's just our nature.
One of the best TV sitcoms of all time was FRIENDS - whether you liked it, watched it, or even know it...truth is, it was one of the most popular TV shows ever (a 10-year run) - not because I think so, but because it WAS [same as Seinfeld]. Why? Because Monica, Chandler, Ross, Phoebe, Joey, and Rachel had something that we all long for - deep, abiding, & almost invincible friendship. Of course it was fake, and scripted, but the show embodied relationships that withstood just about every offense and faux pas...because by the next week, all would be well with casual sipping of coffees at the Central Perk. We want it!! We want that. We want that sort of magic pill and wand that will allow for love and intimacy no matter what we see, what we endure from one another, and no matter what is KNOWN. Some of the greatest films and shows in our culture herald this desire for unconditional relationship. I think the BIBLE does too.
I don't know. Is it possible outside of a dumb TV show?? I don't know.
Friends Theme Song (click for the Friends Theme Song - by the Rembrandts). Just for fun. Listen to the lyrics. "Even at my worst, my best was you...." Good stuff.
It's what we long for, and I believe that ONLY God can be it - only Jesus. He IS a FRIEND who sticks closer than a brother. And he doesn't just stick closer because he wants to, or because we're worthy. He stays because he PAID to do so. He paid to have us. He laid down his life to have us. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit (BFF) gave all that we might have all in them...in HIM. It's true.
December 2007
25th: I had some thoughts earlier...now I'm just a bloated mess. Merry Christmas everyone. Too much junk. Too much good stuff. Too much. Oh well, so I go into '08 a little... plumper. Ridge PC is really taking care of us. We are fattening up quite nicely. Thank you all!
What is it that we want? I've blogged the same question before. Still pondering it. I have everything a man could ever want - and still the longing. The longing for more. For change. For transformation. You know - I am certain that the longing is meant to turn our heads, ears, hearts, and hopes to the Gospel of Jesus. That we would come BACK to the Gospel again and again and again to feast upon it...look into it, hug it, kiss it, digest it, revel in it, hope in it, confess it, discuss it, drink it, turn it on end, on its side - every which way like a prism until we finally get (it) AND until we finally get to touch and hold the real thing in HEAVEN, the epitomy of the GOSPEL, the SON of glory himself. Every longing, every circumstance, every person, every trial, every joy, every relationship is USED by the FATHER to press repentance and belief in the Gospel of the SON further and further into our hearts, souls, & minds, so that the presence and strength of the SPIRIT transforms and prepares us for heaven.
Here, once again is the very essence of the CHRISTIAN life. I really believe that this is Biblical and as true as can be. Live with these questions ALWAYS before you (and even that is a WORK of the Spirit in each of us when it happens):
(1) What do I need to repent of in regards to X (whatever the situation, circumstance, relationship, etc.)? Don't be coy or prideful. What is it that you must repent of? DO it. Turn. [there's always something]
Then, NEXT - (2) how do I flee to Christ NOW? What would it look like for me to flee to HIM in this circumstance, relationship, situation, etc. AND then - flee to Christ indeed. Do it! Flee to your Husband. Your Lover. Your Maker. Your Hope in life and in death. Kiss the GOOD NEWS with all that you've got. Rejoice in it - rejoice in HIM, the Person of the Gospel. Rejoice that YOUR name is in the Book at all. Flip out over the fact that CHRIST was put down so that you and I would ultimately go up. Rejoice - that he became LAME so that you would ultimately WALK and skip, and sing like a school kid. That he was made blind so that we might truly see... see beauty, see our sin, see HIM, his light and hope.
The 2 questions above revolving around repentance and belief ARE the Christian life in a nut shell. Church is about it, preaching should be about it, Bible reading is about it, Sunday school is about it, marriage is about it, parenting is about it, your job (outside of providing for you) is about it, tragedy is about it, beauty is about it, nature is about it,... you name it - it's about repentance and belief. Why else would the first words out of Jesus' mouth be - Repent and believe the Gospel!
Don't chase away the longing or even the hurt. Sit IN the longing...and move to repenting and believing (not at all easy, huh?). That is, IF you want to be a Christian.
19th: The world is a cold place. Not just in the wintertime. It's cold. It's lonely. It's harsh. It doesn't give. It takes. Any glimmers of giving or comforting - is from grace. I know that this seems like a cynical attitude. I've been accused before... and maybe so, but I've been around the block at least once (I'm half way around again), and I know. I've seen the hearts of people. I've seen my own heart. Hearts deceive us (that's what Jeremiah says, and I believe him). I've witnessed first hand the bloody battles, addictions that numb the pain and hurt, and the sheep that will bite you, chew on you, and snuggle close for warmth only to feast on you at first dawn. Yes yes. Gasp. I'm sure that we have all been there...and been one of those who is brutally mean too. We are a mix of glory, light, grace, along with pure hatred and retribution. All at once. If you don't believe me - wake up and live a little. Take a sniff. Breathe in the real world. Walk outside your front door and stay there for more than a minute or two before running for cover inside the walls of denial.
If you think that you have control over things....think again. If you think that you can make all things as right as rain....think again. Wait. You will be brought to your knees. Where we all belong.
You ever felt so overwhelmed by the hurt, the pain, the world of AIDS, the world of HATE, the world of SIN,....your world, the world outside you??? Makes you want to cry, scream, leave, run, hide, pray, go to church, see a priest....Me too. I'm with you.
I say - what can a baby do in all of this!?? I need a Savior. A Rescuer. Not a baby. Screw the baby (is what my heart wants to say or at least feels sometimes). I need GOD!! I know - the baby IS God. True enough. But, we all stop at Christmas and skip right to the resurrection (that's Easter for you amateurs), which is ok, but we must embrace the grown up baby - the ONE who says hard things, who does miracles, who CAN indeed save and hold and scold and mold. The ONE who got bloody and was nailed to some wood naked in front of mockers and mean mean folk...as well as crying, disillusioned folk. In front of those who said they believed...who said that they would die for HIM. Ha!
Is he enough? Now, that is the question, isn't it? For many - the answer is NO. Hell no. For some - we're hoping. For others, we're not at all sure, but we have to try. For some of us - we feel guilty for even wondering or asking the question. For some....they will never even consider or ask it. This might just be the difference between the saved and the unsaved.
11th: I've been planning for Christmas since October, so now that it's almost here - it seems over...I have moved on to January, February....and am thinking about Easter already. Gotta plan!!
I think we're all a little like this. Right? Once Christmas, Dec. 25th passes - the lights come down (for most) and the santas, frostys and manger scenes get boxed up and thrown into the garage. The plastic Jesus-es also go away....and for some - the real Jesus is boxed away... not to be seen or thought about much until MAYBE next year. Maybe. Thankfully, Jesus is more powerful than any box we try to put him in. The God of the Universe in human flesh cannot be contained. He will break through. His light will burst past our blind darkness.
God rest ye merry gentlemen - let nothing you dismay, remember CHRIST our Savior was born on Christmas day...to save us all from Satan's power when we were gone astray... WOW. Do it, Lord!
Long lay the world in sin and error pining - till he appeared! Til HE appreared. Come, Lord Jesus.
4th: It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...everywhere we go. Lights that normally don't light Paradise are now lighting the way as I drive home in the dark from the church ministry center/office. The beauty of the season is all around. Like everything else though - there is a mix of emotions and thoughts surrounding this time of year. There are people who remain in darkness even with 1000 strands of lights on their houses. There are others who frankly DON'T hear silver bells...they only hear the loneliness of their hearts and souls or the whispers of their own unworthiness.
The Gospel answers the MIX. It always does. The Gospel of Jesus, the Christ says that there is no darkness dark enough to keep the Savior out. There is no unworthiness or loneliness that can't be MADE worthy and community-central in this life by his grace and love.
Be on the lookout for these dear ones who might get missed as we shuffle from store to store, from busy thing to busy thing. Keep watch for them. He might be drawing them this Christmas. These ones just might be new presents for the KING....new treasures for the Baby Jesus. Just think - new believers to litter the manger scene as the Angels worship and sing that there will be peace on earth and good will toward men.
November 2007
25th: Sabbatoge. I think I am a master at sabbotaging myself and my life. Do you ever feel as though you TEST God's love and grace for you? The Apostle Paul did, I think. He wrote in Romans 6:1 and following - Should we continue in sin just so that GOD'S GRACE will abound to us all the more? [Because it would abound nonetheless].... but he goes on to say - may it never be! If I'm not my worst - how will I know that he really loves me? Shoop shoop bop bop. When I'm loveable and obedient and ministering selflessly, anyone and especially GOD MUST love me. Right? It's when I am wretched, wicked, thoughtless, selfish, hopelessly sinful, careless, lustful, hateful, and unholy that the GOSPEL really is the balm that soothes. I think the lie is that I am ever NOT in need of grace - just because I am ministering selflessly at a moment... it's a lie to think that I don't need and am not experiencing the grace of God at that moment just as much as when I am at my worst in heart and soul.
Maybe what I am is one of those people who likes to pound the hammer down on his thumb so that when it stops hurting - there's a rush! A grace addict. Grace becomes a drug that can really only be applied to a wound, to a sin gash, to an unholy act - instead of what keeps me standing no matter what state I find myself. There are people who only ever feel normal and good when they are in crisis. Maybe I only feel good and normal when the GRACE of God is bearing down in such a way that I can't move or wiggle free. Not a bad thing - but how do we get to the place of GRACE without the sabbotage? Without the wretched sin part? Drinking of his grace through the Gospel in less unholy sinful times? I still believe that this transformation comes through repentance and faith.
I am conflicted. I am afflicted. I am... working out my salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:11-12).
21st: Happy Thanksgiving to you all. I know that some of us do NOT enjoy these holidays. Family can be the hardest relationships to deal with on the planet. The most blessed and the most difficult. It's usually a MIX. Here's my quick advice to us all - major on the majors...and let the minor stuff go. I know - what's MINOR? What's MAJOR? Minor stuff is all the PERFECT things you thought you deserved in life. Perfection isn't possible and won't happen in this life. ONLY ONE perfect man walked the planet (you know, Jesus?). Majors are - are you alive and believing, thinking, growing, & wrestling through it TODAY? It's good, and God is on his throne. That's major.
Eat turkey, have some laughs, watch the game and a parade or two...and don't solve all your childhood issues on Thanksgiving Day (cuz you can't anyway). Keep this in mind - all is paid in FULL.
Hey, look at what I walked out to the other day (see pic below). Yes, this is MY car - sitting in my driveway. There is a reward for anyone who knows the whereabouts and identity of the "guilty" party or parties.
Actually, I was NOT upset. I realize that this means that I am loved. I see that this means that I am one of the pack. One of the herd. Accepted. I just wish I wasn't loved and accepted quite so much. 2 whole rolls were used, and I don't know where to return the cones. ;-)
Blessings....
9th: I'm supposed to be working on my sermon right now. Need to clear my head. How are we sustained? What keeps us up and going? Is it duty? Is it character? Is it the Holy Spirit? Is it money - the bill collectors? Is it simple physics? Is it psychology? Is it people - relationships? Is it a mix? Well, I believe that it is indeed a mix. A mixture, that if bottled would sell at top dollar.
I think the underlying sustainer in this life is HOPE. We get up and do it all over again because we HOPE that things will get better, or stay the same, or at least recycle into something that brings happiness, peace, and stability. Yes yes. What brings HOPE? Where does it really come from? (Sorry to end with a preposition for you grammarians out there - it's collaquial). From whence does it come?
I am slowly learning in this life that HOPE comes from one place and one place only....even if it gets delivered through a number of venues, people, ways, etc. It originates in ONE place. The Gospel of Jesus Christ. And as accessible as the Gospel is - it's still like the smell of someone cooking a flavorful steak next door.... you know the smell is good, and you know you like it, but you're not sure exactly what it is - where it's coming from or how to get it.
The Gospel is illusive to us. Because it's counter-intuitive, meaning that if we don't hold our mouths just right, we'll miss it. Our nature is to HOPE in everything else on the planet, BUT the Gospel. Our nature is to TRY everything else BUT repenting and trusting in Christ. We have to be at the end of ourselves FIRST. The goal of the Christian, then is to TRUST in CHRIST in an on-going way when we're not at the end of our ropes, as a last resort, when we're comepletely depleted and on the edge of despair.
If I could repent and trust when it's rosie and sunny in life, I just might be making progress. If we could feast upon even the smell of the Gospel....or even follow our noses (for some of us that's easier!) across the neighbor's fence, through the woods, over the river, and to the point of placing the Gospel right upon our plates... then sustaining power and life might rain/rein/reign (which is it?) down or at least bubble up inside of us like living water.
Follow the smell. The smell of HOPE. The truly beautiful, cleansing smell is HIM. His scent. Go after it. Anticipate it. Hope for it / in it.
1st: Tomorrow I leave for the Men's Retreat at Mt. Hermon with 16 other men from Ridge Church. Wow. I had no idea this many would go. Those reading my blog - pray for us. Men are going with all sorts of desires, visions, goals, and ideas in mind for this weekend. GOD will indeed answer - the question is HOW? How will the Lord answer the deep longings and desires of our hearts?
Some men might be going to meet other guys and possibly forge a life-long friendship. Some might be attending just to draw near to God that he might draw near to them. Some might be going because their wives want them to. Some might be going as a last resort - wishing, hoping, wondering if God is real, there, listening, caring about, and loving them at all. Still, some might not even know why they are really going. Some of us just want to sleep! Then there are men going with a combination of all or some of these reasons. COMPLICATED, aren't we?
Thankfully the LORD knows all the reasons and the motives, and he will do his part. He is able. Road trips can be fun. I don't know what he has in store... I just know that I need to PACK!
October 2007
24th: Stuff happens. True enough. I can't believe how insecure that I am. When will I grow up? Too soon and not soon enough. You ever felt this way?
This sermon on the mount thing in Matthew 5-7 is rough. It's rough on all of us. I want to move more quickly through it like ripping a bandaid off FAST to avoid the pain, ya know? Jesus hammers hammers hammers....pounds pounds pounds it - on us. He really is a good preacher (duh). He doesn't let you up for air. When we finally do break the surface - he says, I am the only AIR you have. Get it? Breathe me, or die gasping other none oxygen resources.
Last week's message amid the film references and scary Medusa slides was meant to say that the ONLY hope for your marriages (including mine) and other significant relationships in life IS JESUS. Period. Coming to him. Fleeing to him. Running to him. Asking him. Leaning on him. Sitting in him. Trusting in him.
Here's the truth - because of our stinky way of relating to one another - Jesus was beaten, bruised, and killed. SO THAT LIFE might return to us through him. This is the Gospel. It's all I have for you as a preacher. It's all there is. It's all that I can give. If you get tired of it -I don't know what to tell you. There's nothing of any value compared to it. There's nothing else to hope in. The Scriptures bleed only the wonder of the Gospel from beginning to end.
Our stink traded for HIS beauty is all there is. And his beauty and aroma are amazing. I want to long for his beauty and aroma more and more in my life. I am so used to my scents. My stink. My way.
Father in HEAVEN...give us grace to take a big whiff of the pleasing aroma of Jesus never to return to our rotting, smoldering masses of stink and filth again. Still, when we do return - and the truth is that we will....give us grace to continue returning over and over again to your beauty....your love, your care, your gaze, and your bosom.
19th: A question that was presented to me through the Paradise Ministerial Fellowship (meets monthly - basically all the pastors in town). Here's the question: What are your dreams for your church? Interesting question. I have been thinking about it for several days now.
Sure, [if I'm really honest] in selfish, egotistical ways I want 400-500 people in attendance weekly (or 700! - the magical, heavenly number or was it 144,000?), I'd love an Assoc. Pastor, more staff...and a $100,000,000+ annual MISSIONS budget! Oh - and YES - our own building...preferably one that I have my eye on which actually houses another church in town at present. WOW - Am I a "godly" man, or what? Lord - help me! Some dreams, huh? Do you still want me as pastor at Ridge? Well, I'm not moving again.... ;-)
The ONLY dream that I could ever dream for Ridge Church or any church for that matter would be: that we all would have a life of tasting and seeing that HE is good - one in which we are being transformed into the image of Jesus. Dreams whereby we are FEASTING and digging deep into the Gospel of his grace so much so that we are different people - loving people, humble people, truly loving people, and truly RIGHTEOUS people - not the typical "self"-righteous people...and there IS a difference. Now that's a DREAM. This can all happen without a building of our own, with a low budget, and with as many people as we have right now. Darn.
16th: It dawned on me the other day that perhaps my preaching and way of looking at things Scripturally can come across from the pulpit as TOO negative, too dark, or too depressing. It's something to think about. I do indeed want to be careful - and still, Scripture is not all rosey and happy all the time, is it? There is sin, death, disobedience, sin....more sin, killing, death, abuse, hurt, suffering, pain, wrath, death and dying, genocide, infanticide....I should stop else I will be too negative. These are all present and accounted for in the Word of God.
Here's the deal - the only way for the beauty, grace, mercy, elegance, life, and hope of the GOSPEL to even break through the clouds, is for its opposite to hit us hard. We see the "diamond" of the Gospel as the velvety black cloth is laid on the glass counter. We see HIS light as the darkness falls fast and hard on us in the middle of the desert. We hope when we are hopeless. We long for dawn, when night is at its height. Get my drift?
Scripture does not paint these two panels of LIFE with small strokes. They are etched broadly - with a strong presence that is in your face. When Jesus DIES, it's bloody, sad, and unfair - and yet, mandatory. When Jesus LIVES - it's forever, triumphant, and...only the beginning. And also mandatory!
The sermon on the mountain-top in Matthew 5-7 is preached to bring about in our very bosom - LONGING, DESPERATION, even DESPAIR (in self). Because when we hit that place...there's a chance for our conversion. When we stop saying in our hearts that we are perfect like God, then we might have hope of knowing GOD in HIS perfection.
Luther says - FLEE to the GOSPEL! And flee we must. However, I only "flee" when I know that I am being chased...and when I know that I am being chased by that which will take me down to the pit, I flee indeed. Save me, Lord!
5th: What's this all about any way? I mean - church, baptisms, membership, communion....old symbols and traditions - do they carry anything for us today? Why are we doing all of this? So many people just don't care much any more. It's old rhetoric. Most of us are not raised with it any more. It's just tired symbolism. It's... Churches have to be so careful now...what they say, how they present and represent themselves. People are touchy and easily offended, especially me. And yet, we've been shown mercy, right? - SUCH MERCY! Thus, being "careful" is a way to return mercy to the world. It's a tough balance, walk, mix....
I have been so nervous about this coming Sunday. Wondering what to say about Membership. Baptism. Communion. What to say? I spent more time picking out new table cloths, candles, and goblets - avoiding all the verbage...seeking to make this a beautiful, sweet-smelling place - the way the Gospel really is. A sight to behold. A fragrance of elegance and love.
Denominations. Affliliations. Theology. Doctrines. You expect me to say that it's all only marginally important - when in fact, it's all very important. It is. We are so baggage-ladden. So bothered. So un-classical. We've lost sight of the glimmering Gospel - the hope of the nations, including this United States - this Paradise. When I say - WE, I mean ME too, for sure. K?
The Gospel is the tastiest morsel on the planet. It's the most beautiful light ever to shine. It's the only hope we have... It's the fairest flower that ever did grow in this foul soil of earth. Its fragrance is the sweetest and brings the most pleasurable intoxication - when TRULY SNIFFED and swallowed...baptism, communion, even clumpy membership offer whiffs and finger tastes into HIM....his death, his life, his healing...
In the movie, Beauty and the Beast - the flower/the rose that, over time, loses it's petals and once petal-less would mean that BEAST would be a BEAST forever, this ROSE was guarded, beloved, showcased, protected, worshipped, loved, and watched for its ever-changing shades, color, and life....
We ignore the rose. We trample the rose. I trample the rose. I have the wrong beauty in view most of the time. THAT wrong beauty is...what is it? I think this "fake" beauty that I worship is most often times, ME, MYSELF & I (not IRENE) - the most unholy trinity of all. This trinity is mightier than the devil and all his hosts. The un-beauty that I often worship is also some fake view of the church. Some false view of life. I become superior and thus - I rid myself and the world of all the old symbols, the classics, the ancient words because I think I know best....better than men and women who bled for the Gospel. Who really knew what it meant to BELIEVE...to REPENT. I know better than men and women who had nothing to do but read, study, pray, and learn of GOD...while my learning is tattered and thin. I have become my own lawyer, my own theologian, my own god, and my own member, my own....
And in the end, I won't even have myself. And the rose petals WILL fall. A beast forever.
Teach me to love the dear Rose....the dear LIGHT, the dear SALT of the earth who IS the SALT of heaven. And in so doing - become a seasoning, a vision, a beauty, and fragrance of the Most High.
-2nd revision: spelling corrections by Brett L. ;-)
September 2007
26th: SO, how do we change? How can our lives be different than what we truly know them to be? I was talking with someone from Ridge about this last week. I think it's the ONLY real question to ask? We all do the same things over and over and over and over and over again. Same sins, same patterns, same voices, same dirty looks, same reactions, same....same! I know there is progressive change in each one of us. I think at 40, I'm too tired to do some of the old stuff I used to do. Also, I just am sick of the consequences, so I work to stay out of trouble...but has my heart really changed? Not really. Not so much.
Change CANNOT happen by simple will power. It cannot happen by me pulling myself up...trying harder, and working to do better. More church, more prayer, more reading...though these can't hurt me, of course....but these GOOD means have to be driven by something else. Something bigger - something outside of myself. I've been trying harder ON MY OWN with my wife and kids for years - and I am the same scoundrel as always...with some minor behavior modifications.
How does true HEART change take place? How can we really be different? You think I'm going to answer this, don't you? You think I'm building this up to ANSWER my own question...well, not really.
I know that the Gospel is true and is more than I will ever give it credit for being. I know that I trust myself. I know that repentance and faith are ultimately the answers. But HOW to live it day to day, moment by moment??? Maybe it's just inch by inch until we are in glory.
Your thoughts? Our only hope is the GOSPEL of Jesus. HIM. Our only desperate hope is that he will rescue us completely. Are you and I desperate enough? Maybe if I was - I would repent. And trust MORE, deeper, better,...
17th: Thanks to all of you at Ridge and from Valley Springs for a great time of worship, "installing", fellowship, & DESSERT! It was a great time. I am so grateful to finally be official at Ridge Church. It was extremely humbling and encouraging...but I'm glad that it's over!
My office is starting to feel good...come by and visit me. I am definitely IN on Monday mornings! I actually unpacked a few boxes of books today. Wow.
I hope to see a BUNCH of Ridge folk at the outside CLEAN-UP at the office on Saturday...it'll be FUN FUN FUN!
7th: I am in Roseville this weekend before Sunday doing a wedding. I will be back again (in Roseville that is) after the FALL KICK-OFF Friendship Sunday service at Ridge for Frank's funeral. Sad.
One of the conforming lessons learned recently: how I am in the hard times IS how I am....is WHO I am. At my worst is WHY Jesus came and grew up as a man, was baptized, dealt with the dirt and dust of this place, and WHY ultimately he died on a Roman cross. The Gospel is my only hope.
2nd: Here I sit this Labor Day weekend in Paradise. 2 homes closed - our home in Roseville and our new home in Paradise! Thanks for the prayers. We moved in this past Thursday afternoon. In 3 short days, we have painted MUCH of the inside (except for bedrooms), hooked laundry facilities up, set up beds, arranged, organized, cleaned, fiddled, and watered what's left of the front yard....all of this with the loving help and hands of folks from Ridge Church. Thanks to you all - I want to name names, but I know I'll leave somone out. Thanks to all you wonderful skilled people out there!!
I am very sad this evening as I type because a dear friend and brother has died. L. Frank James, Care Pastor at Valley Springs Church [where I served for over 4 years] went to be with his Lord this morning. He had a heart attack and then crashed his car as he drove to church. He was a dear soul, thespian, author {check out this link to his latest book - LFJ}
Frank was the father of 5 children, and a wit among wits...he helped start Valley Springs Church in Roseville, and will be missed by all. Please pray for his sweet family as they grieve. Pray for my family too - it's been quite a shock with all the other changes going on in our lives. We are sad.
Lastly, please invite new folks to the Ridge Fall Kick-Off THIS Sunday morning. Remember to come early for breakfast 10am and then worship at 11am....in the main sanctuary of the SDA church. There will be a huge bounce-house for the kids...and great eats, fellowship, music, and preaching (I pray!).
August 2007
21st: Stop the presses! Our house is not closing this week! So, no painting this weekend. BUT - wait! Don't put the brushes away just yet. We hope to get it all settled soon....our septic system is being replaced, which is a good thing. Stay close to the blog page, and I will update. Sorry for the continued confusion. I'm with ya.
We are in escrow here in Roseville and in Paradise...so this is good news and an answer to your prayers for us. Thank you. Thank you, Lord!
Please pray for our children who are in school in Paradise without us. Thanks to Wions, Bolgers, Lynches, and everybody else who is helping out with them...and loving them for us.
YOU ALL ARE AMAZING!
19th: Today at Ridge was a blessing! We're under a lot of stress as a family, but we are being bolsterd up literally by the hands of Jesus through y'all. Thank you.
Those of you wanting to help us paint, please send me an email. We hope to start on Friday (Aug. 24th) and work through Monday to get it finished for a Tuesday (Aug. 28th) move-in date.
Wendy and I leave Paradise tomorrow afternoon after signing our lives....I mean, our signatures for our new home in Paradise. We take Nathaniel with us and leave once again Jeannette and Garrison here in school. Pray for us in this time of separation and transition.
14th: Wendy is in Paradise. I am down here in the valley in Roseville. Garrison and Jeannette are in Paradise. Nathaniel is down here with me. Get the picture? Wendy is getting the older kids started in school as well as check on insurance and get our loan going for the house on Country Club Drive. I am trying to sermon-write, sell our house down here, and do up a flyer for the Friendship Sunday Fall Kick-off on Sept. 9th. Hey - since you're reading this, would you please pray for that Sunday event, and INVITE someone to church with you that day? Great.
So far, Jeannette did not get into the charter school though she was #1 on the waiting list. Sigh. The Lord knows where she should be - but I thought I knew BETTER. We are something else, aren't we? We do think we know what's best. He does all things well. That is the truth. Lord, help me to believe the truth and to live it.
The contingency offer on our house down here is moving forward - inspections have been completed and the potential buyer's house IS on the market. Pray that IT would sell. Quickly!
I will be in Paradise on Saturday morning....overnight through Sunday, of course. See you all then. Hope all of you have had a great summer break. It's time to come home to Ridge now. ;-)
5th: I love you all for your grace to me this weekend at Ridge. I was a little emotionally spent and physically tired from a long week and weekend, and you all blessed me with great singing and worship...and kindness. We are going to grow grow grow together in the coming years by his sweet grace. Thanks to all of you!
I plan to be in Paradise again maybe on Wednesday and then, of course on Sunday. See you all then. I do not cease praying for you as we all live in the truth of the Gospel.
There is always more to tell on the housing front - so any "interested" parties, simply email me, and I will give you the fat & the skinny on all of it!
July 2007
Sunday, the 29th: Today was officially my last day at Valley Springs Church. I am the new pastor at Ridge Church now. Officially. Wow....I am overwhelmed at God's goodness and at the thought of all that lay ahead for each one of us. How we need his grace! I guess you all are STUCK now! Ha!
On the housing front since many of you have emailed me - we have opened escrow in Paradise on the "yella house" on Country Club Road, off Pentz (near the Lynches and near the Bolgers)....and probably near others (like the Wilkinsons, etc.). It has some issues, but we are working through them with the bank and have gotten a good deal on this large, beautiful home. It was a foreclosure and has been sitting for a long while. I think the Lord was holding it for us.
Here in Roseville, we have an offer on the table for our home! Yes - that's right! Now, here's where your prayers come in...the offer was a "contingency" offer and we have countered that offer asking that there be no contingencies at all. If you have questions about all of this - email me! Please pray that they will accept the counter offer we are making.
Wendy and Jeannette left for Mexico on Saturday, so I am alone with the two boys this whole week and will be up in Paradise on Saturday AND Sunday. Thanks to Becky and Lynae for agreeing to help with the boys on Saturday as I meet with the elders and get things in order elsewhere.
I moved all my books to the office on Clark Rd. this past Friday. Thanks to Matt, Tim, and Doug Wion for helping unload the truck. The books are in about 30 boxes in the back of the house. Unpacking and organizing there will happen all in good time.
19th: I preach for the last time at Valley Springs this coming weekend. It will feel weird. There is a farewell potluck and a congregational meeting to release me as Associate Pastor of Adults. It will be an emotionally draining time - but good and needed.
We are still in limbo as our house here remains on the market, and we look for a suitable dwelling in beautiful Paradise. The Lord will work it all out, and we are learning to trust him in new ways. Thanks to all who have been praying and touching base with us through this transition process. You are his hands and feet to us. Thanks!
15th: So, how was Josh Lickter? He and Rachel are awesome, huh? Our Open House went fine today, but we haven't heard anything from our realtor yet. I spied on the house once and saw a sweet little family walk in. I prayed that their kids would fall in love with the house, the yard, etc. We'll see!
I will be in Paradise again this Tuesday morning until the evening probably...house-hunting. If any of y'all know of other homes - with 3-4 bedrooms and nice property, let me know. ;-)
14th: We spent the day in Paradise yesterday (Friday, the 13th). I share this with tears that the support we feel in this transition is tremendous. Thanks to all of you in our church family. For your prayers, for those of you who cared for our kids while we house hunted (Wions & Jensens) - thank you. For the phone calls, the love, and overall care expressed by so many of you - THANK YOU, Ridge Church!!
I don't think I realized what an emotional process this would be. Selling our home here, searching for the right house in Paradise, etc. I have seen once again my need for JESUS. We are in a place of having to completely TRUST him, and it doesn't feel good. Ouch. Why is it that when we feel an ounce of "control" [which is an illusion] we're happier...than when we are out of visible options?? Have mercy upon us, Lord! We are control freaks.
I plan to be in Paradise again on Tuesday (early afternoon) to continue looking at homes that would be suitable for the Savage clan.
We love y'all. Enjoy Josh Lickter on Sunday. I preach at Valley Springs this evening, and then have a full teaching schedule Sunday morning. We hold Ridge in our prayers and thoughts always.
10th: We ask for your prayers as we have a big weekend of showing our home here starting tomorrow and then our 2nd OPEN HOUSE on Sunday afternoon 1-4pm, the 15th. Pray pray pray that the Lord will bring the buyer straight to our door that day. We want to move to Paradise!
Great passage here...
Micah 7:18-20
18 Who is a God like you, pardoning iniquity
and passing over transgression
for the remnant of his inheritance?
He does not retain his anger forever,
because he delights in steadfast love.
19 He will again have compassion on us;
he will tread our iniquities under foot.
You will cast all oursins
into the depths of the sea.
20 You will show faithfulness to Jacob
and steadfast love to Abraham,
as you have sworn to our fathers
from the days of old.
Check out Ransom Fellowship's website if you want to be challenged as well as think outside the bun when it comes to the Gospel & cultural redemption and transformation. Good stuff.
www.ransomfellowship.org
8th: Well, I won't be preaching at Ridge this coming Sunday. Bummer. Our good friend, Joshua Lickter will preach though. Y'all will love Josh and Rachel. Incredible people and lovers of the Gospel!
The Savage clan plans to come up on Friday to look at houses. Let us know if there are some of y'all that we can see while visiting. Soon enough we won't be visiting - but living in Paradise!
7th: Thanks for the e-mails, guys. Great to hear from everyone. Keep 'em coming. Love e-mail.
Looks like I'll be up at Ridge preaching NEXT Sunday - July 15th (MAYBE - double-checking). 3rd message in the Matthew series: Floored by Favor. Wendy and I were also planning to come up to look at houses on Friday, but we might just wait and do it all on Sunday. Multiple roadtrips to Paradise would be fun though. Please keep praying for our house to sell in Roseville.
See y'all soon....I hope.
The Gospel for ALL of life...even for house-selling in a bad market!
The 4th of July shin-dig at the Wion's was perfect. We all had a blast! My kids slept great after swimming all day. Perfect. Thanks to all -especially the Wions for opening their home to the Ridge mob. Anybody ever driven back to Sac at night in the summer? Let's just say that our windshield is covered in bug bodies. It's not pretty.
For those praying and wondering - we looked at a few homes yesterday in Paradise and one of them is a potential (it's a foreclosure which is why we COULD afford it...maybe). Please pray for our home to sell here in Roseville. We have a realtor walk-through this morning. Pray that the Lord will bring the right buyers who will be blessed by our current home. It's a great house!
Yes to Kari & Brett...they asked to paint and "decorate"-coordinate my new office in Paradise. YES YES YES. Thanks. No cinnamon candles.
The next thing I need is a church directory with A - pictures of everyone and B - alphabetizing using FIRST names only for now. It's all coming together.
Pass on the website address www.ridgeparadise.org to Ridge folk and Ridge wannabees.
The Gospel for ALL of life...even for packing & moving!
My family and I are moving up to Paradise! Most of you know that, of course. We can't wait. We'll be new so we'll need y'all to help us settle in and learn our way around.
With all the changes and transitions, we are learning once again how much we need the grace offered in the Gospel of Jesus for us every moment of every day. It's easy to get stressed out with life, isn't it? And when we get stressed out - well, all sorts of things come out of us! Words, thoughts, and even deeds that don't exactly reflect the transforming power of the Gospel. Hmmmm. Thankfully, the Lord's grace and mercy are abundant in Christ.
Tim Keller says that "the Christian life is a process of renewing every dimension of our life-- spiritual, psychological, corporate, social--by thinking, hoping, and living out the “lines” or ramifications of the gospel. The gospel is to be applied to every area of thinking, feeling, relating, working, and behaving"....even when you're packing and moving!! Martin Luther says that the essence of the Christian life is repentance which points back to what Keller is saying here about the Gospel. The only way that we can be men and women of REPENTANCE is IF we understand and BELIEVE what God in Jesus has done for us at the cross [The Gospel]! Y'all check out the following article/Bible Study entitled: The Centrality of the Gospel (it will knock your socks off!). Gospel Centrality
Here's some Scripture that has strengthened me lately:
Jeremiah 29 - 10 "For thus says the LORD ... I will visit you, and I will fulfill to you my promise.... 11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. 13 You will seek me and find me. When you seek me with all your heart, 14 I will be found by you, declares the LORD, ....
Psalm 33 - 20 Our soul waits for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. 21 For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name. 22 Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon us, even as we hope in you.
How will we all be able to encourage one another to Gospel living? I have a feeling that through all the ups and downs of life, there will be ample opportunity for us all. What a joy!
Paradise or Bust!!
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